To Excited To Sleep

This is me for the next couple nights. 2 and a wake up!!!!

Mom part 2

So after I made that last post I was sitting here in a funk. All of a sudden, outside I hear lots of laughter and then singing. There was a group of kids going down the middle of the street and stopping from time to time all the while singing Christmas Carols. The stopped in front our house and Drew and I watched out the upstairs window. All of a sudden, they started singing my mom's favorite Christmas song. The Christmas Song Never in the three years have we been here has this happened. Never in the three years that we have been here have I been in such a funk.

I know many people don't believe in such but I took it as a sign that my mom was here and that it was all going to be ok. For a minute I felt her next to Drew and I, holding my hand, singing along.

I miss you Mommy. Merry Christmas

mom

There are lots of days I miss my mom and grandparents, today is one of two that I miss my mom it hurts like it was yesterday that she passed away.

Christmas was my mom's holiday. To her it meant family, love, time together, to be thankful for all we had. It just doesn't feel like Christmas. Living in California is hard during the holidays. It is not cold, there is no snow, there is no family except the three of us. This year it is worse because Phil is not here.

When I was a kid, we would always spend Christmas Eve going out to dinner with our grandparents. Some times if the weather was bad we would order pizza. Several years mom would boil shrimp and we would have a feast. Then back to our house to open Christmas presents from each other. My dad always called it conspicuous consumption. It usually did look like a wrapping paper factory threw up when the chaos was over. After we went to bed, Santa would come. After waking mom and dad up at ugly early and checking out the loot, mom and dad would go back to bed. When they were finally up there was flurry of activity as mom started cooking Christmas dinner. My grandparents would come over and some years my dad's other relatives from Hiawatha would join us. My dad was a firm believer that kids needed to be in their own environment during Christmas because it was a such a confusing chaotic time for them and being in their own home allowed some sense of normal routine.

I have tried to recreate the Christmas of years past. I have realized that is not possible. I can never be my mom. All I can do is remind my children of the meaning of family and when all else fails all we have is each other.

As we got older my mom became more of a Christmas fanatic. It would take a weekend to put up and decorate the tree. My parents best friends the Hazlett's would trek to Kansas city the day ofter Thanksgiving and start the process. I know there was one year that dad and Allan held the tree up while mom and Peggy rushed out to get fishing wire to string up the top part of the tree. I always felt safe and warm during Christmas. While we didn't do lots of baking and such, it was still my family and my traditions. I miss my family in Kansas. I wish many things could be different. I wish the closeness of the holidays was still present in all of us. I cherish those memories of Christmas' past. Sometimes I feel like it is all I have left.

Hard decision

Scott and I have to make a rough decision tonight. To some this might not sound hard but to us it was trying to hold on to our youngest sons childhood just a bit longer.

My dad does a wonderful service every year. He calls kids all over the country to help Santa check in on kids. I think last year he said he had 30 kids on his list. He has wonderful sleigh bells. He loves doing it and kids all over the country have a bit of magic during their holiday.

Dad offered to put Drew on his list this year. After much discussion Scott and I decided to decline. Drew is getting very good at discerning voices. He can tell when the same person plays different characters in movies. He knows who Steve Carrel is and knows what movies he has animated for example. Drew talks to my dad on a regular basis and we were worried that he might recognize the voice.

Drew has been questioning the reality of Santa vs the meaning of Santa lately. We have a Shelf Elf and the other Drew asked me if I would ever lie to him. I said not intentionally. He asked if I realized that Shelf Elf was plastic and why didn't he ever blink. HMMMMM.

We want this last year of belief for our own selfish reasons. We aren't sure if he as grasp what Santa is all about so we are holding our breath. I think the belief has lasted this long because he has been homeschooled. After this year I am sure we will be having discussions about Yes Virgina and what Santa is all about.

My youngest is growing up. I am glad we have had this long.

If you have seen one.....

Last was was a rare celestial event. It was a lunar eclipse that happened on winter solstice. This event has not happened in over 300 years. Pretty spectacular if you ask me. Drew on the other hand....

Scott came to bed about 1130. I woke up and decided we all needed to trek into the backyard and witness this event of historical proportion. So Scott woke up Drew and asked if he wanted to see it. Drew was up in an instant. He was so excited. We all went the the back yard - there was a break in the rain so we could actually see the moon. It was at about half covered. I explained to drew the significance of this event. He seemed duly impressed. After watching for a few minutes we all went back in.

I asked Andrew if he wanted me to wake him up in a couple hours so he could see the full lunar eclipse. "No thanks mom, once you have seen one lunar eclipse you have seen them all. I would prefer to sleep."

So much for being impressed.

Karma

Today Drew and I were at Henry's Farmer's Market. I had to pick up a few things. We were waiting at the meat counter and Drew was begging to stand on the cart. Being 70 pounds that is not a good idea so I told him no because it would tip the cart. After several attempt to change my mind he asked why not when other kids were allowed to do it. I replied that "I guess I am a mean mom" At that point I dropped my phone. Drew looked at me, shook his head and said "karma" and walked over to pick up bananas.

shopping

Well I finished my Christma shopping today. My friend Lori and I have begun a tradition (we are in our second year) of taking a day going out for Chinese lunch and then finishing up our shopping. More than anything it is a day just to hang out and talk. We wander thru the stores and finish stocking stuffers and a few impulse buys for the kids. What is Christmas with out impulse buys?

On the Disney front: today 2 of our packages of luggage tags showed up today. Waiting on 2 more. I will say Disney is great about allergies. I sent an email about Drew's peanut allergy. I was mainly concerned about our Pirate and Pal Cruise the first night - lots of peanut type snacks cracker jacks, peanut butter cookies etc. within 3 hours I had an email back from the coordinator of the Cruise. He wanted out our confirmation number and what night we were attending. I was assured that they would make sure there were snacks that Drew could eat - even if they have to bring in special food for him. That is amazing.

Remember something good is going to happen to you today - you jut have to find it.

Cathy

Busy busy

Well the district finally got a home teacher here. tonight she was late. So Drew only had 45 minutes of class time.

I heard back from the State Dept of Education. They are launching an immediate investigation against the district on 6 violations.

Our trip is rapidly approaching. 21 days from right now we should have landed in Orlando and waiting for Phil and Betsy to get there. 22 days from now we should be watching the fireworks from the lagoon on the Pirate and Pals cruise. 23 days from now we will be walking through the Osborne lights at DHS and waiting for New Years. 24 days from now we will have finished the Animal Kingdom park and we will be having dinner at Hoop De Doo Review. Not that I am counting or anything.

Phil and Betsy keep telling me they will be excited after next week. Finals will be over and they will have a life again. If they only knew what not having a life was....

There are so many little things in life that are good. A few not so good but when I look around at everything that others deal with I realize my life ain't so bad. I remind my self every day of the good things in my life -

Remember something good is going to happen to you today - you just have to go find it - what happened to you today?

Is it rude

Tell me if this scenario is rude.

30 minutes before you are to be at your monthly Bunco game your dog gets skunked. You call hte hostess and tell her that your hubby refuses to clean up the dog and you now have skunk on you so you are going to jump in the shower and pick up another member and you will be right over.

When you show up commenting that you can't get the smell out any better but oh well we are all friends and sit down in a cloth chair and proceed to play Bunco. As the evening wears on several people start to get headaches, one gets sick, several go outside to get fresh air,the hostess dining chairs as well as couch now are "Ode DeSkunk". You then can't understand why you were asked to leave because you did shower (not wash your hair)and changed clothes and everyone else is getting sick.

In your opinion was the hostess in the wrong? Or the skunked Bunco Member? I am not the one who was skunked nor was I the hostess this month.

I hate

I hate being seen as a witch (with a b). But sometimes it seems to get peoples attention, after being nice for a month, you have to pull out the big guns to get some ones attention.

I had to do that yesterday. I filed another complaint against the school district. Drew has been enrolled since November 8 in his old school district but has not attended class. Yes you read that right he has not set foot in a class room in a month. While it has been a very peaceful month it has not been too productive. I have called, written letters etc only to get lip service. Yesterday, I had had it. I woke up with a MAD on like my grandma used to say. Once again my letters and calls pleading to get his home/hosptial tutoring going nothing was happening. We were losing anohter week. So I filed the complaint. Served a copy to the district and 2 hours later I got a call. The program specialist told me she was surprised I had filed the complaint since we had been working together. UMMMM.....My son's education under their watch was watching movies and cartoons all day.... that is NOT working together. That is them not doing their job. I hit the roof. I think I have a bit of my sister in me (hi sis) that every once in a while comes to the serface. While I was not proud of my behavior it got the job done.

I charged they had been denying drew his right to a free public education, not following the IEP they wrote, discriminating against him because of his disability. Scott had a very long conference call this afternoon - he did tell the PS it was a good thing I hung up on her because I might have been arrested if I continued on my verbal tirade. We now know where Drew will be attending when we get back from vacation, and why they made the decisions they did. I am currently waiting (still) for a call concerning who will be doing his home tutoring.

That is all I wanted. Was a few explanations on what was happening and why. Not too much to ask. I am just sorry I was forced to take such drastic action to get what could have been very easy to do.

I have 2 different thoughts

I have 2 very different thoughts tonight

1. Never mess with a mama bear when it comes to their cubs and their well being. Elk Grove you really messed up this time.

2.Look at all the stars. You look up and you think, "God made all this and He remembered to make a little speck like me." It's kind of flattering, really. - Tombstone - Morgan Earp.

Can you tell the kind of day I have had?

Pixie Dust Abounds!!!!!!!

I am on Disney Happy Dance today. I hang out on the Disboards quite a bit. It is where I have learned all the ins and outs of planning an awesome Disney Vacation. I know some people like to just wing it but unfortunately at Disney that can't be done. I made our meal reservations back in July (you have to make the 180 days out) A few I have changed over time and fine tuned them. I have planned several character meals for us. I got a coveted Breakfast reservation at Cinderella's castle for breakfast.

I have several surprises planned for the family that I can't reveal here because you never know who reads this (Hi Betsy)

Tonight I got one of the most coveted surprises at Magic Kingdom. It is for an event that only a 100 people or so get to do a night when it is held. It is not offered all the time. I had heard the last night it was going to be offered was December 30 - our first night there but I already had a surprise for that night. I crossed this off my list.

Today I commented to Phil I didn't know why I was stalking the boards so much today because we are 30 days away and things are pretty well done. Then I found it. There was a thread about this event and that it was being extended. I jumped on the phone. I was up against a time crunch because they were doing an system up grade in 20 minutes and no reservations could be made for 24 hours at that point. I told the Cast Member what I wanted and what day. At first she said there as no availability that night. PANIC mode. I started looking at all my carefully planned reservations wondering what I could move to make this possible. All my work 6 months ago was about to go out the window. All of a sudden I hear..."wait there is pixie dust in the air" She had managed to get me a reservation on the night I wanted. I will have to change - probably cancel one dinner that we wanted to do but I think everyone will be happy with this one. I will post plenty of pictures of this in just over a month.

I have been bouncing off the walls since I booked this. I can't believe we get to do this. Bet my family doesn't make fun of my haunting the Disboards anymore.

Putting thankfulness into action

It hit me this morning during church that for the past month everyone has been blogging about what they are thankful for OR putting it on facebook. I decided I wanted to start a December movement.

It is time to put our thankfulness into action. I challenge everyone who reads my blog to do the following, challenge your readers. Post what you do here and have your readers do the same on your page.

Do something for a stranger everyday in December. It doesn't have to cost money. Let someone with fewer items go ahead of you in the grocery store or post office, help an elderly person get a cart at the store, put a quarter in a meter that you notice is about to expire, let a car into traffic ahead of you. The list is endless. The power of blogging and Facebook is amazing imagine what a wonderful holiday season it would be if we each took 3 minutes each day and made a stranger smile.

Reality check

I know my son has grown up. I have been aware of that for a long long time. I knew it the day we left him in Kansas and moved to ABQ. I knew it the day he started talking about joining the military and there was nothing I could do. He didn't enlist for medical reasons. I knew it the day he told me he thought he had met THE ONE.

This weekend I had the biggest reality check yet. This is the first holiday in a long time that Phil has not been with us. If for some reason he was not with us he was with Mike's family.

This year was different. He was with THE ONE's family. He went in on Thanksgiving morning, spent the night. Yesterday, the helped Betsy's brother move then he and Betsy spent the afternoon on the plaza, ice skating and watched the Crown Center tree lighting. They woke up this morning and went to Topeka to spend the day with Mike's family. Then back to KC to spend the night. Tomorrow, they get up early and go get a tree and he will for the first time help another family kick off the holiday season.

It hit me while we will always be family I have to share him now. There are 2 families in his life now. I don't mean it in a bad way, it just hit me that once again he is entering a new period of his life. Change is the only constant in this world and with kids that change seems to happen more and more as they grow up.

The trip is coming up

Ok so we have 33 days and 11 hours until we actually hit Wilderness Lodge for 11 days it is beginning to seem real.

I have had our dining reservations made since July. A must if you are going to the world, using the dining plan and want to get the better, fun restaurants.

Plane tickets have been bought. Thank goodness for Southwest and allowing the change of flights without a penalty.

Today I ordered trading pins from EBAY. Need to find everyone's lanyard.

I have started putting together my first aid kit. Everyone made fun of me last time but the moleskin and body glide were life savers for all involved.

I have bought all the T-shirts and the transfers. Lori and Lois have offered to take care of getting them done for me. (somewhere in the next month we are moving and I don't have time to get it all done with out help from them). Lori is also designing special autograph books for Betsy and Drew. She made one for Lexi and their trip to DL this past week. It was beautiful.

need to make our hotel reservation for the 29th at the airport Hyatt. and get gift cards for everyone. Lots of little details to deal with but those will get done.

WDW I can't wait!!!!Open your magic gate You make no stranger wait......

some of my thankfuls

I am truly blessed. I am thankful for my life with my wonderful husband, 2 wonderful boys who are both entering new chapters in their lives. I am thankful for a wonderful dad and stepmom who truly care about Drew and his issues. I am thankful for a MIL who puts Drew first and when she is here my life becomes so much easier.

I am thankful for friends who have my back when things get rough or there is reason to celebrate.

I am thankful for technology that allows me to keep in touch with friends and family around the world.

I am thankful for having enough food, good medical care, a roof over my head, and an overabundance of everything good.

I am thankful that I have accepted Jesus as my Savior and that I let him into my heart and home.

my fave turke quote

AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, I THOUGHT TURKEYS COULD FLY - Gordon Jump AKA Mr. Carlson, WKRP

First sign of Vacation arrived

Last night when Scott brought in the mail he didn't know he was carryI ng what I considered one of two important peices of mail that is due before Christmas. Disney gave me an early Christmas present. Our tickets for the Disney Magical Express arrived!!!!!! For those who are not as Dis-nutty as I am - those are our tickets for the Disney bus to our hotel. The trip is finally seeming real.

We are now waiting for our BIG package with the luggage tags, vouchers, and all the fun stuff. That should be here by next Friday. I know it was printed on November 18. I promise not to stalk the mail lady. I immediately texted phil and Betsy to share my excitement. Scott is just along for the ride. HE says he will be excited when we get there until then "MEH"

Oh Well I am excited enough for all of us.

Airport

Do you know what I like about airports. Watching people reunite. We picked up my mother in law this afternoon at the Sacramento Airport. We were early because we had to stop and rent a car for the week. It is too difficult for her to get in and out of the back seat of our 2 door Ford Focus.

While we were at the airport it was so wonderful to see kids coming home from college rushing to hug their mom. We saw several soldiers come home. Grandma's and grandpas waiting not so patiently for their grandbabies to come down the escalator with the kids parents. It was funny to watch grandparents ignore their kids to give the grand kids hugs, kisses and presents. I even heard one grandma tell her son in law "sorry I forgot to hug you too." It made me smile.

I am thankful today to have seen the love of so many families today. I am also very thankful that I get the next week with Mary Lou.

IEP results

the IEP was today. the advocate ensured that Drew got some extra services that he needed. We get to go back to our old speech and OT people for a month until he starts back to school in January. They had assigned a home teacher but I refused him this afternoon. So they have to find another one. They were going to send a high school teacher who I am sure would have done well with Drew but he couldn't come until late afternoon - 5 or 6 PM. Not going to work since Drew's bedtime is 8. Not only that by that time of day Drew is not exactly in a cooperative mood. So after the holiday they will have to find another one.

We went and saw Harry Potter this evening. We had a good time. There were a few parts that I felt were a little unnecessary. The Harry and Hermione kiss didn't need to be nude. I am not a prude by any stretch but with all the kids in the audience I was a little uncomfortable. Drew felt ripped off because this was the first HP that did not have a happy ending. It was a good stopping point however.

We are all looking forward to Mary Lou's visit tomorrow. Drew is so excited to see his MEEMA. We are all grateful that she extended her visit. Thinking about going to Apple Hill on Tuesday - just have to see how things play out. Not wanting to plan a whole lot. Just spending time with ML is wonderful.

Next week will be time to start talking about our upcoming vacation. I have some great surprises for everyone. I can't wait to spend time with Betsy and Phil and enjoy our family. My friend Lori designed some great T Shirts for us. After the holiday I have got to get them made.

So much to do. So little time. But it will all get done - somehow.

day off

I still have lots to be thankful for but right now I am trying to finish a paper for my psych class. I have a 96 in the class and would love to get an A.

Also gearing up for the meeting with the school district tomorrow.

Rooster day

For as long as I can remember Drew has referred to Thanksgiving as Rooster Day. Not sure why but he has. Yesterday I told him that MEEMA (Scott's mom) would be here on Saturday. He was so excited that she would be here for Rooster Day. I explained to him that she was leaving on Rooster Day before lunch. He was very upset. I told him we would to a Thanksgiving dinner on Wed. I mentioned to ML Drew was disappointed she would not be here to celebrate Thanksgiving. She went online and changed her reservation to say an extra 3 days!!!!! We only get to see here twice a year so we are all thankful for the extra time.

I am so excited she is coming. Sunday we are going to brave the rain and cold to watch Scott race. At least it is at a winery who will be having a wine tasting and pizza to get us through. Not sure what else we are doing. She has offered to help pack but I would rather just spend time with her.

may be getting somewhere with school

Today I am thankful for the new program specialist that will be working with us to place Drew in the proper place in the public school system. She took the time yesterday to meet Drew and I at his favorite park. She wanted to observe him. She did get to witness a melt down which was nice. She has some good ideas on what is best for him and I agree with her on just about everything. We have the official IEP on Friday morning where everything will be decided.

They are offering at home tutoring until after the first of the year. Then he will be starting in an ED class with increasing time over several weeks so he can adjust. I think he will be placed in the 3rd/4th ED class since he is 8 but only in second grade. that way he can be there for several years and know the routine instead of going to one school for 5 months then changing next year.

After fighting the school district for 2 years it was refreshing to meet someone who appeared to have Drew's interest at heart.

What do I want for Christmas?

I want to come back from vacation and have everything in our current house moved to the new house. Otherwise we come back and immediately move to the new house and have to be out of here by Jan 15

WOW what an experience

We just spent the last 24 hours on the USS Hornet. It was an amazing experience. The history on that place. Scott is down loading pictures now. I will post them later. They had the dads and boys in one area and the moms in another. We ended us splitting the boys and moms due to boys being nervous. Scott stayed with Drew and about 75 of our group. I was with the mom's group and a few young kids.

We were up on the bridge, on the flight deck, in the boughs of the ship, ate in the mess area. We and about 400 other people had run of the ship for tours and lectures from5-11 and again this morning from 7 -930.

My friend Kristina did captures some orbs. If you look closely you can see what appears to be a face in one of them. I met a docent who told me of an incident that happened to him where he was coming out of a private room and had a glass thrown at him.

About 4 this morning our berthing area got very cold. One mom commented she felt a chill from the inside out like she had never felt before. about a half an hour later I felt someone push me from under neath my bunk. When I went to bed there was no one in the bunk under me. I looked over the side to see if one of the little kids and moved. There was no one there. Thought I was dreaming. Oh well back to sleep. It happened a second time. I woke up my friend in the bunk next to me and asked her who was under my bunk. She said no one. I didn't say anything at that point. Suddenly the kid on the bunk above my friend asked her to quit pushing his bunk.

I whispered to Kristina what was going on. We were both a little spooked. About 15 minutes later a cell phone alarm went off. This was the woman who complained about the cold. We had all turned off our phones because signal was so scarce we wanted to preserve batteries as well as not have them going off trying to get messages during the night. When we got up about an hour later 2 people on the other side of the room reported having the underside of their bunk pushed on as well - there was no one under them as well.

So I guess I did have my first encounter with a ghost. I wanted to see one - not be touched by one. Tomorrow I will talk about the history we saw. But I had to share my ghost experience.

I ain't afraid of no ghost!!!

I have always had an infatuation with the paranormal. I firmly believe there are trapped souls on earth for some reason. I am not sure of the reason why however. I was talking to Grandma Peggy yesterday telling her about our upcoming adventure and she commented how lucky we are to live in a area that has so much history and the ability to enjoy lots of weekend trips to enjoy the things this part of the country has to offer. We are 90 miles from mountains and 90 miles from the ocean. If we go 5-7 hours south we are in LA and I never thought I would have gone to Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive but i have. Drew has asked to go to Lego Land for his birthday this year. I guess I better get on that.

We drop the dog off at 1 with our friend Julie and SKippy and her dog 'Nilla are having a sleep over. We are then headed to Alameda in the Bay area to spend the night on the USS Hornet. It is proclaimed to be one of the most haunted locations in the entire country. We are going with Drew's Scout pack. We are not telling the boys about the history but the several adults are very anxious for lights out at 11 so that we can have some fun. The adults have to take shifts keeping watch. I have been debating taking all night and sleeping tomorrow because I don't want to waste one minute on this experience. I have promised my friend Brooke that I will say a prayer of protection before we all board the ship. She hasn't like my last to attempts. But I promise that I will ask for protection for the boys and adults as I would in any event I would be chaperoning. I want us to all have a safe fun trip.

It is only 46 days until we hit the gates of magic kingdom for our 12 day family adventure. We let Betsy pick the first ride. she chose Dumbo. This is one ride that I have never experienced.

On another note I have finally gotten somewhere with the school district. It is amazing what a well worded letter using words like denying my son free and public education and sending them the bill for the private school of my choice becausey the were out of compliance, can do. I dropped that letter off at the district office at 1. At 2:15 I had a call from the head of the special ed department. by 323 it had been decided Monday afternoon Drew and I would meet with the program specialist at a park so we could talk and she could observe drew. IT was also decided that until all of the details of his placement could be worked out the district would provide a teacher coming the home to school work. They will see the real issues at that point. We see the specialist on Monday AM to start getting some answers.

Well off to buy a digital recorder for tonight. See everyone tomorrow.

November 12

Thankful for a husband who brings me coffee with just the right amount of creamer

thoughts for today

There are times in your life when you realize you are tired of the shit. You are tried of trying. You are tired of reaching out only to become a scapegoat for other peoples frustration. I have people in my life that I love, I have people that I like, I have people that are related by blood, I have people who are related by a bond stronger than blood.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they have evaluate what is truly important and who you are and what you are willing to put up. Life it too short for other people to bring un needed drama to your life.

I have a full life. A husband who loves me, an older son who is loving and caring, a future daughter in law that I can laugh with, and a young son who despite of ( or because of) his struggles is funny and loving and a bright spot in every day of my life. I am truly blessed.

I have a church family who is only a phone call away, who has helped me through many emergencies when no one else was around. I have a home school family who has held me while I cried dealing with the issues with Drew I have a special friend, who despite her disabilities, is always willing to listen and loves Drew unconditionally. She seems to understand him when no one else does. In Kansas I know of many friends that I could call on a moments notice that would drop everything and coming running to my aid - and I to theirs.

For a long time I avoided conflict with people because i didn't want to deal with the fall out that I knew was inevitable. Now I am not willing to deal with them because life is to short and God doesn't expect me to turn the other cheek forever. I have tried, I am tired and I am done.

And no this blog doesn't come down either.

November 10

My dad used to be my oldest son's best friend. When my mom was ill they were inseparable. They would fly Phil to St. Louis for weekends so he could maintain their wonderful relationship. One time my mom and dad took Phil shopping and bought him a very expensive sweater. I hit the roof. I didn't think a 13 year old needed a 300.00 sweater. I pitched such a fit they almost bought a second one just to prove something to me.

After mom died things changed. Dad moved on with his life and so did Phil. They went in different directions. Phil grew up into a man my father would be proud of. Phil misses his grandfather. My dad always says "if the phone isn't ringing it you know it isn't me" That is something else he taught Phil. My dad and Phil are very much like my paternal grandmother. They can both hold a grudge and never forgive. THey may even for get what the grudge is about but they if they are certain a person wronged them then Katie bar the door.

It has been very difficult on many of us that what was such a beautiful relationship has gone so sour. their relationship used to be like my grandmother's and mine. I knew no matter what she was there and would share all my special secrets. Phil and my dad haven't spoken in over a year - well except for a shouting match Father's day. Dad has never met Betsy. That makes me sad.

Today I am thankful for my wise son who realizes that my father is older and read me an email he is going to send to his grandfather. Like Phil says "babysteps are better than NO steps"

********To those that demand I take this down. NO this my blog and there is free speech. Nothing was meant to be inflammatory All I was saying was that I was thankful my son had reached an age where he realized his grandfather was getting older and wanted to right the wrongs between them before it was too late.

Hopefully they ( as well as others of us) will be able to repair relationships and move forward.

November 9

I look at the issues we are having with Drew and I get so frustrated. Then I watch the news and realize how blessed I truly am.

Enough said.

Something good

When I was growing up my dad used to wake up my sister and I by coming into our room and loudly proclaiming "SOMETHING GOOD IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY - YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND IT" It was always a positive way to start the day. It might be something small like some cute guy smiling at me or something important like an A on a paper. It was my dad's way of always making us learn that even in the chaos of the storm there was always something that could make a day special.

With all the chaos in my life right now - the waves are all around and I am sitting in the boat being still - remembering He is God. At the same time I am cognizant of the small things that make every day special.

today

today's thankfulness? This afternoon Scott took Drew to the train museum with Scouts and I got 3 hours to myself. It was so nice? What did I do? Well it was a raining all day so I had put a roast in the crock pot before church. I fell asleep to the smell of a roast cooking, fresh rain scent and the methodical raindrops falling on the slate roof. It felt so good. Skippy curled up next to me and the cat at the foot at the bed.

I was thankful when my boys arrived home safe and sound and we enjoyed a great dinner together.

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The past few weeks have been very emotional in our house. We got a new diagnosis for Drew. They think we are looking at childhood onset bipolar. It does explain a lot of things. But to hear them actually say it was devastating. I cried for 2 days. But I realized it could be a lot worse and moved forward. However after 2 melt downs one that almost caused us to call 911 to have him admitted to the hospital several things became apparent. One I can no longer home school Andrew. That breaks my heart. Maybe in a couple years we will try again but now he needs the structure of a special class room. I just am unable at this time to give Drew what he needs to be successful.

Secondly, I realized how hard the last 3 years have been on me. We moved to ABQ, Phil was in a horrific wreck and had to have surgery. Then Scott had a perforated colon and 2 pulmonary embolisms. He survived 2 surgeries and recovered. Then as he was getting ready for his first bike race after that event he was hit by a car and had a broken collar bone. That didn't heal right and requires surgery 6 months later.

For the last 3 years I have focused on everyone but me. That is the way I am but now I am tired, hollow, empty, lonely, and just plain exhausted. I broke last night. I cried for 3 hours. It all just came out. I cried for all that had changed - as far back as my mom being sick, losing her and my grandparents, the changes in my dad, the relationship with my sister the list goes on. It was a mouring of sorts.

I have spent today pretty much on my bed doing home work, sleeping, thinking and just being by myself.

I started looking at random blogs and saw that many people were taking the month of November to blog daily about what they are thankful for. It got me to change my way of thinking. I should not be having a pity party so I resolve for the next month I will do just that. Everyday talk about something I am thankful for. God has blessed our family in so many ways. My husband is still alive, my son is about to graduate from college, my younger son can be managed with medication and lots of teaching by those more qualified than me.

A friend whose blog I follow annonomously had this song on her blog today. And I think it is a good place for me to start.

Cathy

Army of Women

My friend Elaine had a wonderful blog post and wanted to let everyone know about an amazing opportunity.

Have you been touched by breast cancer? In todays society it is hard not to find someone who does not have a story about being touched by breast cancer in someway shape or form. Whether is a mom, sister, aunt, friend, or themselves everyone is being touched by this disease in one way or another. My grandmother had breast cancer. My dear friend Mary recently beat the disease. Their courage and strengh were an inspiration to me.

My mom was sick for many years and she signed up for any study for her disease that came her way. She wanted others to benefit from what could be found through her and the disease she fought. It was also an inspiration to me as well.

For these reasons I am asking you, my readers, to give a little of your self to help fight breast cancer in a way you may not have thought about before.

Avon Army of Women is working with many medical studies to find a cure. Take 2 minutes and go to the website. It will give you a chance to sign up for studies you might qualify for. I currently do not qualify for any of the studies but as soon as one comes for that I meet the qualifications for I will sign on the dotted line.Occasionally you might get an email notifying you of new studies. If you qualify you can sign up a study that might just find the key that unlocks the door to curing a disease so that our future, daughters, sisters, aunts, friends won't have to fight and leave this world early.

Do this for those in your life touched by Breast Cancer, Do it for yourself.

Musicals

When I was a kid my parents made sure my sister and I were introduced to live theatre. We saw shows like ANNIE, La Cage Aux Folles (with Peter Marshall and Keane Curtis) They're Playing Our Song , Chorus Line, this list goes on and on. My sister LOVED Chorus Line so much that when it was bring your fave record to school that is what she brought. She tried to get the teacher to play Looks 10 Dance3 (better known as T&A).

My sister and I have carried this love of theater with us as we have grown in to women. I made sure that Phil saw live theater as a child. My sister once even gave us tickets to CATS so Phil could enjoy the experience. He actually named his cat MCCavity. Phil loved theater so much he took singing and acting lessons in high school and was in EVERY play Seabury did while he attended. As a Sr. he starred in Suessical as Horton. I am proud to say my son played a GREAT elephant. In some ways it doesn't seem like a stretch from his normal lumbering self.

I have put off taking Andrew to theater. I have been worried about his attention span. This fall I have us signed up to see 3 shows at the local children's theater. Scott is out of town, and I found this great TV channel I didn't know existed (guess that is what happens when you have 300 channels to choose from). So I declared it a junk food night and we are going to curl up in my bed and watch CATS on TV. I am hoping it keeps his attention. It is a start.

colds

Have you ever noticed that Colds come at the most inopportune time? Not like anyone wants to schedule when they have a cold but honestly they always seem to appear at the worst possible - most busy time for me.

Take the one I woke up with. Yesterday I felt out of sorts - kind of crabby and just not my self. I am usually such a ray of sunshine. If you believe that I have part of a bridge in Brooklyn to sell ya. Anyhow, in the middle of the night I woke up feeling achy and by morning I was sure my head was going to explode and Scott would be having to clean grey matter off the office walls.

My week? Tonight is the kickoff for the Scout Pack fundraiser. Who is to present it to the parents? ME! Tomorrow Drew has his tutor and his therapies and I have choir tomorrow night. We will see what happens. Friday is CHILL (our homeschool co - op.) I am supposed to teach. My co-teacher is away on a business trip. Then as soon as CHILL is over we are to head to Bodega Bay for a CHILL camping trip. IF we don't do that we are supposed to go to OctoberFest at church as well as the Bishop is coming for his visit on Sunday morning to church. Not to mention I have to teach Drew all week.

I checked the scheudle and I have tried to explain to this cold that 3 weeks from now would be better if it would like to rebook. I was met with a full on coughing attack. Guess this cold and I will not be seeing eye to eye and it is planning on sticking around a few days.

Saturday Morning

Well it is Saturday morning. Again. Scott and his friends are on a re-con ride getting ready for the GranFondo which is coming up in a few weeks. I am staring at a mound of laundry. But instead I think Drew and I will go get lunch and go to the library. And Skippy needs his nails cut, and the car needs washed, and I am sure I can find 10 other things to do besides the laundry. But it will be waiting for me no matter what. So I will get it started.

We are getting ready to start our next section of ancient history. We will be spending a month or so studying Ancient Egypt. I have some fun stuff planned. We are going to mummify a chicken. I will take pictures to help document this one.

CHILL has started up again. Yesterday was like the first day of school for our homeschoolers. There was such excitement in the air as everyone gathered. New students, old students, new and old moms - all with the mission of giving their kids one more outlet for learning. Drew is taking Spanish, Nutrition and Getting ready for Fort Ross. That is several posts in itself so stay tuned for our living/learning time at Ft. Ross. I am teaching ASL. I have a great group of kids. My co teacher is such a great funny lady she should be the head teacher because she can keep their attention better than me. But together we make a GREAT team. I swear if I could I would get her on Last Comic Standing. She would walk away with it all.

IF I had my way Drew and I would be spending the day at Disneyland. Too bad it is a 6 hour car trip. I wish it was closer. I would never get laundry done. I tried to convince Scott we needed to go again for Halloween but I was informed that Christmas in Florida was enough. HUMPH.

We are headed camping next weekend with our CHILL group. We are going to the sand dunes of Bodega Bay. The weather is supposed to be good. LASt camping trip of the year. We need to start thinking about where we want to go next summer so we can get it booked. People start booking campsites in February for the summer. So I need to pin Scott down on where we are going. WHAT AM I SAYING????? No one would believe I enjoy camping now. There is something totally different about camping in California.

well the laundry waits and drew is STARVING.

FTPD

C

Unit Studies

I think I may be getting the hang of this. This school year, so far is much better than the last. We are having fun. I am not nearly as uptight. I see lots of progress being made.

I attended a class a few weeks ago on unit studies. This used to be how school was taught. Most of the subjects were incorporated around a topic (writing, history, science, art, English). So I decided this year I would try my hand at using unit studies to teach Drew about the ancient civilizations. We just finished Mesopotamia and will start Ancient Egypt next week. When I was 8 I had no clue what the Fertile Crescent was let alone it was bordered by the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, Drew does and he can explain what a shaduf is and how it works. We learned that the Mesopotamians invented the wheel as well as the flush toilet (I thank them for both). We have learned about Cuniform and ziggurats. We have drawn pictures, colored maps, made puppets, discussed agriculture, roles of men and women. The list goes on. It has been LOADS of fun for both of us.

Today he started asking about where Dracula came from as well as Frankenstein, werewolves, why mummies were supposed to be scary. He already has Halloween on his mind. So it hit me. I home school! I can teach what I want! If it excites Drew then let's learn about it. We are going to take about 2 weeks close to Halloween and do a unit study on the myths and legends of Halloween.

We have the big trip in December that he doesn't know about. So, why not do a unit study on the life of Walt Disney and his vision? I actually have unit studies planned for the next 5 months. Maybe this will be one way to keep school going year round. In the summer we just do a couple unit studies.

We still do math and spelling most days but we have so much fun with these studies it is hard to get the other stuff in like we need to.

I found this video the other day and it sums up homeschooling so well. I was terrified at the beginning but my home school friends have helped so much. I have learned that every day there are opportunities to learn that don't involve a classroom. We embrace learning in a totally different hands on way. We now go camping, play dates, park days, museums, field trips to all sorts of places. We are going to Monterey Aquarium in November, Fort Ross in April. Drew will be taking Spanish, nutrition this semester with our local co-op. He is also taking a year long class to get us ready for Fort Ross and when we get back he will have to make a presentation board about what he learned. He has already picked his country for our International day.

I get really irritated at our pastors wife. She is a teacher and every time she sees Drew she asks him math questions, spelling questions, English (noun verb) questions. She is continually tell me that he is behind. UMM...NO he is not behind, he is where he needs to be for him. How may second graders do you know who can point to the Tigris River on a map and explain that is now an area in conflict? The math and spelling will come - heck Phil can't spell and he is about to graduate from college.

I guess what I am trying to say (getting off my soap box) is that while home school is not for everyone. For us it has been the best thing we CHOSE to do.

THAT day

9 years ago I was driving my son to school after a dentist appointment. We were listening to the radio when the announcer announced someone with really bad direction had flown a small aircraft into the World Trade Center. WOW that is crazy I thought. We kept driving. A few minutes later the announcer came back on and said - it happened again - another plane had hit the other tower and it was a commerical aircraft carrier. WOW that is even crazier. Phil asked me what it meant. I had no idea but I assured him (with the confidence that every mother has in moments like this) that everything would be all right and he was safe.

I got him to school and walked in and told the secretary something crazy was going on and she needed to find a radio. I explained what we had heard on the radio. At that moment all of her phone lines started ringing with concerned parents. I hugged Phil good bye and said I would see him after school. I remember calling Scott on my way home and telling him he needed to find a way to get some news. This was 9 years ago before constant, instantious internet news coverage.

I went home and turned on the TV. My sister called (or maybe I called her) we sat watching the TV trying to figure out what was going on. We were 60 miles away from each other and it was one time in our life that I truly felt close to her. Our parents were on the way to DC on vacation. They were driving. My cell rang and it was mom. Amie called Dad on her cell. One most of my vivid memories is my sister yelling "OH MY GOD it is going down" as the first building fell. We watched in horror connected by that phone at what was happening before eyes. We begged them to come home. Finally they realized this was major. They were driving and only had our accounts and the radio to go by. They did turn around and head for KC.

The other day I was talking to Phil about what he remembered. He recounted what happened as the school day continued. I remember fighting the urge to go get him and bring him home (that safe haven every parent feels about their house for their child). As Phil and I talked the other day it hit me. For his generation, this is the first "I remember where I was when...." they will have. He was the about the same age I was when I had my first one of those moments,John Lennon being shot. Somehow, now that memory doesn't compare to his first of those memories.

I remember that day, 9 years ago wondering about the world my child was growing up in. 9 months later we adopted Andrew. He doesn't remember a world where you don't have to take your shoes off at the airport, or packing all your liquids in your checked bags. This is the first year I have exposed him to what happened that day. I wanted him to maintain his belief that the world is inherently good as long as possible.

I pray for Phil, his generation has VERY few of the "I remember where I was..." moments. I hope for all of us there is never another day that causes such fear. But like my friend Allan said... If you give into the fear, you let them win.

On the move

Well it appears we are moving. No, not back to Kansas. (sad) Not back to Albuquerque either. We are moving about 6 miles from here. We will be downsizing BIG time. Fine by me. When we rented this house we anticipated that Phil would be moving to California at some point and we wanted him to have his own space. Well, obviously that is not happening.

So it is time to move. Our new house will be about the size of our house in Lawrence. Smaller backyard. Not sure what we will do with the pool or the trampoline. (getting rid of the trampoline will be hard. It was one of the last things my mom gave Drew - sentimental)

But the people who own it planted about 100 rose bushes. The owner hopes they are still surviving. He is concerned the current tenants have not taken care of things like they should have. That is why he likes us. We have taken care of our current house like it was ours. The owner has agreed to the dog and the cat. Not sure how Cavity will like the move. He is a pretty stubborn cat.

Not sure if the official move date is November 1 or December 1. I am hopeful it is November. Scott's mom is to come out for Thanksgiving and I would prefer to be in the new house so she doesn't have to navigate stairs or deal with everything being in boxes and my stress level during a move. Just have to see what happens.

bicyclists have families too

Scott has been gone for a couple weeks working in Albuquerque. He got home late last Thursday night and couldn't wait to get on his bike Friday morning and go for a long ride.

He came home pretty shaken up. While riding a white dully pulling a trailer actually slowed down and hit him in the back of the head with the side mirror. Then the truck kept trying to hit Scott with the side of the truck. Scott was finally forced into a ditch to get away from the 5 people in the truck. This is not the first time Scott has had a run in with a car. Not quite a year ago many will remember he was hit by a car and broke his collar bone. He is still recovering from that and the subsequent surgery.

Don't people realize that cyclists have families.People who love them - wives, kids, moms, dads, sisters, brothers. The roads are not owned by the cars. There are bike lanes for a reason. Sure there are some cyclists who do not obey the rules of the road but most cyclists are curtious, obey the rules. they bike for a variety of reasons, better for their health and enviroment, one car family. It this economy many cyclists can't afford gas for cars and choose to ride a bike as away to save money.

I cringe every time Scott goes out to ride. I always pause for a second and wonder if he will come back in once piece. Please remember that cyclists are motorists too but they don't have the 3000 pounds of metal surrounding them - the cars do.

back again

The past few weeks have been HELL. I have been in pure survival mode. The docs tried Drew on a new med. It was causing rages every couple hours. It was crazy. Even he didn't understand. We couldn't get school work done. It was taking 2 hours to do 14 math problems. I was so ready to chuck everything in and send him back to school and make it their problem. I hated being around my son and I hated myself for it. How could I not like being around my son. He was saying totally hateful things and I didn't know where to turn.

Monday I called his neurologist and told them we had to take him off the Depakote because it was going to be me or him. They got me an emergency appt for Tuesday afternoon. I didn't give him his Depakote on Tuesday because Scott was out of town and I knew I could't take it.

When we got to the appt. Dr. Rainia came to the waiting room personally to get him. We went into a conference room with 2 med students. We reviewed Drew's history and Dr. Rainia noted that all the meds we tried had had the opposite effect. Respirdal caused depression (it is a anti depressent) Abilify was to improve the Tourette's - it made it worse.

He went on to explain to the med students that with kids like Drew who had the opposite effect on meds that they had to think outside the box. He explained to all of us that by accident he had discovered a drug for Parkinson's and Restless leg Syndrome that worked in about 50% of kids. Was I willing to try. HELL YES!!!! I knew I couldn't take anymore of what had been going on.

Drew took his first dose Tuesday night. Wed he got up and got dressed, did 3 hours worth of school work without fight. Went on a play date and there were no arguments the whole time. CAme home ate dinner, took his bath, never balked or fought back when told no. NO rages . he was amazing. took another dose last night. same thing today. Did his work (it was a short day because of getting ready to camping this weekend) didn't get upset when he made a mistake on his spelling test. He caught hte mistake and corrected it. He didn't get upset when he only got a 99 because he forgot the E on "have" in his dictation. he even took out the recycling with out being asked!!!! He even told me he loved me. I haven't heard that in a long time.

He has been pretty hyper but I am not sure if that is because now that his mind is clear so much is racing that he can't keep up or because we haven't started the daytime dose - that starts tomorrow in addition to the night time dose.

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. But if this works, I will be eternally grateful. The past 2 days have been amazing. I hope they keep up. I will keep you posted.

change of plans

Well the trip to Disneyland is out. With the questions about my health right now Scott was not too excited about me taking Drew for 6 days with no back up. Plus the money we save on that mini trip can be applied to the BIG trip in December. In some ways I am actually relieved that we are not going. Drew was all right with it after I promised that SOMETIME in the future we would take a big trip with Phil and Betsy. He just doesn't know when.

On the health front, we see the neurologist tomorrow morning to hopefully get some answers about all of this. The eyesight is improving. It will never be what it was but hopefully it will continue to improve.

I get so frustrated. There are so many things I want to do with Drew but I can't. I feel like he is getting short changed. I feel all right in the morning but by afternoon it is all I can do to move and stay awake. Tried to get in the pool with the guys on Saturday. The water was too cold and I spent 5 hours trying to get warm and waiting for my muscles to "unseize"

I refuse to have a "pity party" This was the hand I was dealt and I will deal with it. I know I am getting ahead of my self because we don't have a diagnosis yet. I am hopeful that what ever this is there will be a treatment and I can get my life back and have the engery to do the things with Drew and go back to being the wife and mom that I used to be and that Scott, Drew and phil deserve.

so I slowed to a stop

OK I was on a roll getting back into the swing of blogging. I got stuck. Life goes on here. I have been working hard on getting the first couple weeks of lesson plans done for Andrew. I am trying a new approach to teaching this year. Last year we got off track quite a bit. This year, I have written plans and I have showed him that there is a little box next to each thing to be done. Once we finish a lesson he can check it off. when all the checks are done then we are done for the day. Hopefully this will help. I have added much more writing this year. He hates to be forced to write. But there are somethings that just have to be done.

On a much more exciting note. I made our plane reservations for both the Orlando trip as well as the trip to Anaheim in September.

The trip in September was to orginally be a family trip but Scott can't go. I tried to find someone to go with me. I offered to buy their park ticket and hotel if they paid for the plane and their food. But I had no takers. So I decided to fly and it will just be Drew and I. I think we will have fun. We are staying HERE. They have a great pool so I am sure some time will be spent there. I do wonder how many times I will be forced to ride Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, and Haunted Mansion. We both love the Toy Story Ride. Drew will actually be taking a class on California history while we are there. It is taught by Disney cast members - that should be fun.

Plans for the trip in December are coming along. Been making payments and plane reservations. We are staying at the Bay Lake Towers for that trip. We have a 2 bedroom Villa. All 3 kids will share one room (2 queen size beds) and Scott and I will have the master (kind size bed). It has a kitchen, living room, washer and dryer ( like I use those). Making all the meal reservations has been a challenge. Who knows where we want to eat 6 months out but with the Disney Dining plans there is no choice. I managed to get everything I wanted. I went back to change some stuff yesterday and some restaurants are already booked and have no availability. "Doing Disney" takes planning. I have decided I will do some blogs over the next few weeks that pertain to doing disney the right way and sites that help me plan. When we lived in Kansas - our travel agent would call me when people had Disney questions because I knew it better than she did.

So back to FTPD

C

I am on a roll.

It is hot here. And when it is hot a person wants to swim. But to swim requires going to a pool. I hate pools. too many kids who are unsupervised, who pee in the water (or worse) to me it is too stressful. so instead we brought the pool to us.

Here it is

Just what every one needs: and 18 foot across byt 4 foot deep pool. Did you know that is 7600 gallons of water? Not looking forward to my next water bill. But Drew loves it and I am hoping it makes the summer smoother.

back in the saddle

We are home from a wonderful 2 week vacation in Kansas. Saw lots of good friends and had lots of fun. My lost the site in my right eye. They say it is temporary but it is still disturbing to go from 20/40 to 20/180 in my eye. When I look thru it I feel like I am looking thru a windshield that has mud thrown on it. They orginally thought it was caused by MS but my MRI was clear. I see my doc on Monday and hopefully we will figure this out.

It appears the trip to Disney is on for December/January. We (Betsy and me) can hardly wait. Drew doesn't know yet and Scott and Phil just humor us. We are eating at Cinderella's Castle one morning. I managed an 8 AM reservation. They are hard to come by so that was a real coup for me. More on the trip as time goes on.

Did I mention we have a dog now? We have a Chiweenie named Skippy. He is part Chihuahua and part Dachshund. He is a real love. He is named for the main character in a series of children's books called "Skippy Jon Jones" Drew loves him to pieces. Skippy is really attached to me because he sees me as his rescuer.

FTPD

C

Where have I been?

Where o where has Cathy been? That seems to be the question. Currently we are in Kansas on an extended vacation. i have spent a good deal of time in doc offices but more on that later.

things in Sac are fine. I have gone back to school full time but that seems to be on hold.

Drew is doing awesome.We are on break from Home school. We will start back up mid July. He has new therapists as the MIND center cut its budget.

Scott is riding all the time. Spent Father's day riding 85 miles up to Nevada city. I went and picked him up and spent the day watching the Nevada city Classic.

I am thrilled my class reunion is over. It amazes me how some people never change. I am surprised they don't drown with their noses so far up in the air. Several people have already stepped up to do the 30th.

the best part of the reunion was seeing my best friend from high school that I hadn't see in 23 years. Scott said he didn't think we would ever stop hugging.

we are going to spend the 4th of july at 3 different parties. looking forward to seeing lots of old friends from Lawrence.

Well, now everyone is up to speed. I promise to be a better blogger.

21 years ago

21 years ago right now I was watching the moon rise from a room in the maternity ward at Stormont Vail in Topeka Kansas. Little did I know a few hours later one of my most precious gifts would be given to me.

does not compute

Drew and I had his Cub Pack meeting last night. Bit news he acheived his Tiger Rank and got his Tiger badge. Now for the humor of the evening

The Cub Master mentioned several times during the evening that is family was taking off today for Disneyland. Drew looked at me and asked when we would be returning to Disneyland. I told him that we would be going in September for a Homeschool conference. Andrew looked at me and said 'Mom Homeschool and Disneyland don't belong in the same sentence." Hard to argue but we are going anyway.

I usually think

Yes I think (as scary as that is) but what I was going to say was during the day I think of all sorts of wonderful things to blog about. Problem is I am not at my computer at the time so by the time I get to my computer I draw a blank and blog about nothing. I think there was a TV show about nothing at one time. Wish my blog could be that popular.

On Tuesday,April 13 my oldest friend is coming to visit. We have been friends since 5th grade. not saying how many years that is but if you read my older posts you can figure it out. planning on doing very little. Just sitting out back and drinking margaritas, eating salsa and talking. We are going to San Francisco for a day but that is it. I love company that is easy. They don't want to be entertained they just want to be. The obligatory trip to Squeeze Inn is on the list. She wants to check out a couple bead shops. Like I said easy. I have very few friends that are like that. Lori is one. The others would be Kim and Anna. Most people you feel like you have to entertain. With them I know they are coming to see me. That is what makes it easy.

chaos reigns

A little chaotic around here tonight. Andrew is entertaining his first sleep over guest. His friend Jake is here. Talk about abounding energy. They are currently playing on the trampoline. I guess as long as there is no blood or crying things are good. I love the sounds of children laughing. Don't you? So innocent and playful. I remember those days.

some days

Some days you just need to sigh, say WTF and find the Xanax followed by a Cosmo Chaser

Am I on a roll? 2 days in a row!!!!!

do you know why I love being a SAHHSM (Stay At Home Home SChool MOM)? Mornings like this one. It was kind of cold and drizzly and we woke up abut 730 or so. Scott and Drew talked for awhile and when I rolled out of bed Drew decided he wanted waffles for breakfast. Fine by me. I pulled out the waffle maker, mixed up some batter and we had home made waffles on a rainy Thursday morning. There is no rushing to get up, get dressed, get breakfast, make lunches, run out the door in different directions. We had a nice leisurely morning. School starts about 10. Done by 1 or so. Then off for an afternoon of fun.

I actually have 2 Tastefully Simple Parties booked. Hopefully a third on the horizon. If you don't live around Sacramento I can always arrange the worlds simplest catalog party. Tastefully Simple makes it easy to have a catalog party anywhere in the country and the new summer line is amazing. Questions - let me know.

been very neglectful

Yes I know. everyday I log into follow everyone else but don't seem to find time to update my own blog.

Where to start?

Scott came through surgery fine. 3 more weeks and he should be able to drive as well a get back on his bike. He is walking everyday and is very happy to be maintaining weight. He is still working from home and appears to be happy doing so. I love it most days.

Phil and Betsy are still dating. Phil told me the other day he had been named to the Greek National Honor Society. Not bad. He is doing better and better every semester.

Drew has offically been diagnosed with Autism. Not a shock but still felt like a kick in the ASS when the told us. They have said it is EXTREMELY high functioning autism but still autism just the same. He is doing remarkably well being homeschooled. We all like it. He is finally reading. I love Hooked on Phonics. It is a god send. We start Math U See after Spring Break and I am hoping Andrew is as successful at that.

I am starting to sell Tastefully Simple. I went to a party a few weeks ago and fell in love with the products. Every time I mentioned to a friend that I was having a TS party they all said "make sure you invite me" or "send me the link I need to order some stuff" That got me to thinking. Why shouldn't I profit from this?

I love being a SAHM. But I never have felt like I have contributed enough. I know I contribute by parenting the kids, taking care of bills, cleaning house, supporting Scott, etc but I always feel like I should be contributing monetarily. Infact while I was typing this TS called and gave me my consultant number so my site will be up and running shortly.

My dad was here last weekend and we had a wonderful visit. Like he says great to see them come - great to see them leave.

Oh the big news it that we are planning a trip back to Disney World for December/Jan of this coming year!!!

I promise to pay more attention to my blog and update soon.

Time Marches On......

South moves north, North moves south
A star is born, a star burns out.
the only thing that stays the same is everything
changes, everything changes.

It has been a couple weeks since I have had time to blog. I miss it but time marches on.

We have finally found a medicine that works for Drew and it works wonderfully. We are not having the emotional frustrated outbursts. He is able to do his school, work stay on task etc. I know every kid is different and we have tried several medications before putting him on Abilify. If things continue at this rate we will be working with the docs to get an ADHD drug in addition to the Abilify. We met with the Elk Grove School District and listened to what they offered to do for Drew. We are declining their offer. We have met with South Sutter and they didn't even blink in offering Andrew services to help him succeed. He is in a homeschool co op and doing well. I love the Co op. It gives me some time to be with other moms and Drew a chance to be with kids and socialize. He won the Pine Wood Dreby last weekend. HE won the Tiger Division, had the fastest car of the day as well as breaking a 2 year track record!!!!! Pretty amazing.

Scott has to have surgery to repair his shoulder in a couple weeks. While I am not relishing another recovery period I want him well and not in pain. The past 18 months have been really hard on him physically as well as emotionally hard on all of us. I am blessed to have wonderful friends to step in and help.

Phil made the Dean's list. That was a shock but a pleasant shock. He is liking his classes, working hard and has a wonderful girlfriend.

See things are changing but staying the same. Time just marches on....

Psalm 100

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.
Serve the Lord with gladness;
come before his presence with singing.
Know ye that the Lord he is God;
it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving,
and into his courts with praise;
be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting;
and his truth endureth to all generations.

psalm 100

I have taken much grief over the years because I have always been a "jail house" singer. Can't find the key and behind a few bars. But I LOVE to sing. It brings me such joy. My mom had a beautiful voice and I always wanted to sing like her. But I couldn't when my kids were young I loved singing to them. It didn't matter what I sounded like. I was their mommy and it was special. Over time I was asked to stop singing by them and too them. It was the most horrid feeling in the world. It was not a gift that God chose to grant to me. He has given me a great many other gifts and for that I am grateful.

My husband takes every opportunity to tell me how horrible my singing is. I have cried myself to sleep wishing God had given me the voice of an angel. But it was not in His plan. He gave me the gift of theatre - and I love to act. I have participated many times in the skits the Quest team does at church. And the director loves my ability. God gave me the gift of humor. On many occasions friends have called and said I am sad can you cheer me up. I gladly do so. God has given me the gift of organization. And I at every opportunity step up and help organize events for church, school, community.

tonight was the annual meeting at church. People noticed I sang with enthusiasm. Shannon asked me again to join the choir. I told her Scott would not let me because I could not sing. He had explained my lack of talent to her before. Shannon and several members of the choir encouraged me to come and sing anyway. Against my better judgment I accepted. Julie told me if it was too bad they would adapt to my voice and no one would know the difference. What mattered was that I came and enjoyed doing something I have loved. I am scared, I am nervous, what if I am so bad they ask me to stop coming? Hopefully my husband will be supportive encourage me as I have encouraged him in all of his hopes dreams and goals.

What I lack in tune I certainly make up for in enthusiasm and isn't that what truly matters when praising God?

and it starts again!

I knew this day would come. I lived thru years of torment while Phil was in Scouts. It was a great experience for him and a wonderful way for Scott and Phil to bond when Scott came into our lives. I on the other hand could never set foot into a Scout meeting and live a very fulfilled life. Tonight, I entered round 2 of Scouts. I knew it would happen. and I would NEVER deny Andrew the opportunity that Scouting provides. I promise to smile thru all of the Pine Wood Derbys, I will duly hit all my friends up to buy popcorn from Andrew. In return I will have to buy what everyone else's munchkin sells with a happy heart and a lighter wallet. I Promise to look into finding the glue to put patches on the uniforms because I don't want tales of my past sewing misfortunes to haunt Andrew (or me ) for the rest of my natural life.

On the camping note however I will do so will with a smile on my face and my massuse's phone number on speed dial. I am currently checking into what latest camping gear offers. you have to understand in my first go around with scouts I had a 3 room tent, with an oversized queen blow up mattress that my sheets would fit. I had my pillows from home. The tent was big enough to hold 2 folding chairs with cup holders. I got rid of it years ago. My friend Joan and I would head for the nearest mall on the yearly canoe trips. I will go camping again but only with updated versions of my previous camping life. Scott and I had been married a month and almost divorced over an ill fated canoe trip. I swear the paddle could save itself as I was going under. it was every paddle for itself.

I will do it with a smile as I did the first time. I promise.

plagerism. Thanks Elaine

find something to believe in. Believe in a higher power, believe in karma, believe in your partner, believe in the regeneration of life, believe in mercy, or believe in anything else. But I do hope you find something to believe in. It'll provide you strength when you're not certain you have it. Second, a smile can go a long way.

This is from my friend Elaine's blog. this was advice she gave her son in her monthly letter to him. Elaine is an extremely eloquent writer and these are certainly words to live by. (for the record her older sister and my sister were best friends when they were young and I used to babysit them. ) Who knew that little moppet could teach me so much as an adult.

I love your blog Elaine and miss it when you don't post. You are a remarkable mom and human.

Oh here is the link to her blog.

Why?

Why is it the United States people are more concerned about who got screwed in the fight to host the Tonight Show than they are with their fellow humans who are fighting for their lives and existence in Haiti?

quiet

THe house is strangely quiet and feels very large and empty right now. It is amazing how the presence of one person home on break or their returning to college can change the feel of things so much.

off again

Well tomorrow we are headed back to Disney for another mini trip. Phil has never been to Disneyland so we thought we would head down for a couple days. Last trip for a while. Scott has a couple business trips coming up and Phil will be back in March with fraternity bros. Dad will be here in MArch as well. Nothing on the horizon for me until June when we head back to Kansas for our class reunion.