When Phil called to tell me he wanted to come out here I was excited but hesitant. I had a feeling he was making a rash decsion based on some feelings of being scared and lonely. Everytime we talked, there he never seemed sure about his decision. I kept telling him it was his decision to make. He was an adult and I couldn't make it for him. I knew this was hard on him. On one hand he had a dream to be in the medical field - on the other hand he didn't want to leave all he knew for the unknown. (good thing he didn't have to come to America from a foreign country in the early 1900's or go west in the 1800's)
I have held my excitement in check pretty well.
Today I knew why. He called this morning and we had a fight. the next thing I knew he was saying he wasn't sure he wanted to move. I felt he was using the fight as an excuse to change his mind. I finally let it drop and told him once again this was for him to figure out. i could advise but not make the final decision for him.
He told me tonight that his Aunt Amie surprised him today. He figured she would be totally against him moving here. But she was able to give him some insight from the Greek point of view. It made him realize several things. Things he needed to change about himself and about his situation.
Then, he had a talk with his friend Cody. He admitted to Cody the real reason he was moving to CA. Cody made a little pact with him. He has told Phil, if that the reason he was coming out here was because of wanting to get a fresh start to go to med school ,he would make it his mission to ensure that Phil did what he needed to do at Washburn to get it done. (Cody - we will talk someday - you robbed me of my live in babysitter)
I knew deep down that if the decsion was that hard for Phil to make, coming out here was NOT the right decision. Tonight Phil and I had a heart to heart. I told him that I knew him better than anyone- better than he knew himself. It is a mom thing. As hard as it was and with tears in my eyes, I gave Phil wings today. I told him he needed to stay in Topeka and get it done there. It would have been so easy to rescue him. To let him come here and take the easy way. but that is not what he needed. Amie knew that. I knew that but didn't want to admit it. I sometimes forget he is a man and I need step back more often and let him fly. If he falls that is when I need to open the nest door not before his wings expand. Otherwise he will know never know how high he can truly soar. Eagles will be beneath him if he is given the chance. Thanks to my sis for seeing his true potential
She gets an extra dose of Pixie Dust today. Thanks Amie.
C
