bicyclists have families too

Scott has been gone for a couple weeks working in Albuquerque. He got home late last Thursday night and couldn't wait to get on his bike Friday morning and go for a long ride.

He came home pretty shaken up. While riding a white dully pulling a trailer actually slowed down and hit him in the back of the head with the side mirror. Then the truck kept trying to hit Scott with the side of the truck. Scott was finally forced into a ditch to get away from the 5 people in the truck. This is not the first time Scott has had a run in with a car. Not quite a year ago many will remember he was hit by a car and broke his collar bone. He is still recovering from that and the subsequent surgery.

Don't people realize that cyclists have families.People who love them - wives, kids, moms, dads, sisters, brothers. The roads are not owned by the cars. There are bike lanes for a reason. Sure there are some cyclists who do not obey the rules of the road but most cyclists are curtious, obey the rules. they bike for a variety of reasons, better for their health and enviroment, one car family. It this economy many cyclists can't afford gas for cars and choose to ride a bike as away to save money.

I cringe every time Scott goes out to ride. I always pause for a second and wonder if he will come back in once piece. Please remember that cyclists are motorists too but they don't have the 3000 pounds of metal surrounding them - the cars do.

back again

The past few weeks have been HELL. I have been in pure survival mode. The docs tried Drew on a new med. It was causing rages every couple hours. It was crazy. Even he didn't understand. We couldn't get school work done. It was taking 2 hours to do 14 math problems. I was so ready to chuck everything in and send him back to school and make it their problem. I hated being around my son and I hated myself for it. How could I not like being around my son. He was saying totally hateful things and I didn't know where to turn.

Monday I called his neurologist and told them we had to take him off the Depakote because it was going to be me or him. They got me an emergency appt for Tuesday afternoon. I didn't give him his Depakote on Tuesday because Scott was out of town and I knew I could't take it.

When we got to the appt. Dr. Rainia came to the waiting room personally to get him. We went into a conference room with 2 med students. We reviewed Drew's history and Dr. Rainia noted that all the meds we tried had had the opposite effect. Respirdal caused depression (it is a anti depressent) Abilify was to improve the Tourette's - it made it worse.

He went on to explain to the med students that with kids like Drew who had the opposite effect on meds that they had to think outside the box. He explained to all of us that by accident he had discovered a drug for Parkinson's and Restless leg Syndrome that worked in about 50% of kids. Was I willing to try. HELL YES!!!! I knew I couldn't take anymore of what had been going on.

Drew took his first dose Tuesday night. Wed he got up and got dressed, did 3 hours worth of school work without fight. Went on a play date and there were no arguments the whole time. CAme home ate dinner, took his bath, never balked or fought back when told no. NO rages . he was amazing. took another dose last night. same thing today. Did his work (it was a short day because of getting ready to camping this weekend) didn't get upset when he made a mistake on his spelling test. He caught hte mistake and corrected it. He didn't get upset when he only got a 99 because he forgot the E on "have" in his dictation. he even took out the recycling with out being asked!!!! He even told me he loved me. I haven't heard that in a long time.

He has been pretty hyper but I am not sure if that is because now that his mind is clear so much is racing that he can't keep up or because we haven't started the daytime dose - that starts tomorrow in addition to the night time dose.

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. But if this works, I will be eternally grateful. The past 2 days have been amazing. I hope they keep up. I will keep you posted.

change of plans

Well the trip to Disneyland is out. With the questions about my health right now Scott was not too excited about me taking Drew for 6 days with no back up. Plus the money we save on that mini trip can be applied to the BIG trip in December. In some ways I am actually relieved that we are not going. Drew was all right with it after I promised that SOMETIME in the future we would take a big trip with Phil and Betsy. He just doesn't know when.

On the health front, we see the neurologist tomorrow morning to hopefully get some answers about all of this. The eyesight is improving. It will never be what it was but hopefully it will continue to improve.

I get so frustrated. There are so many things I want to do with Drew but I can't. I feel like he is getting short changed. I feel all right in the morning but by afternoon it is all I can do to move and stay awake. Tried to get in the pool with the guys on Saturday. The water was too cold and I spent 5 hours trying to get warm and waiting for my muscles to "unseize"

I refuse to have a "pity party" This was the hand I was dealt and I will deal with it. I know I am getting ahead of my self because we don't have a diagnosis yet. I am hopeful that what ever this is there will be a treatment and I can get my life back and have the engery to do the things with Drew and go back to being the wife and mom that I used to be and that Scott, Drew and phil deserve.