Monday, April 30, 2007

Dont' know how...

I don't know how not to give. It is my greatest character flaw. I don't know how to say no. It is a problem. I love to make others happy. It makes me happy - or does it?

Monday, April 23, 2007

Nothing

I know some people try to post and make some sort of profound statement. Not me. I prefer to post about nothing. Just daily life. Kind of like Seinfeld. His was a show about nothing. Mine is a blog about nothing. Actually when I blog I find myself greatful for all of God's gifts. I realize how fragile life is when I sit and type. I know I will never solve the world's problems while I blog. But I don't want to. I want to tell stories about my life as a wife, mother, student, Christian, and friend. I know only of one person who reads my blog. That is OK (hi Anna) I know of people who write blogs who have many followers. They are the ones who seem to think they can solve the worlds problems. The only problem I want solved right now is why my cable on demand channels don't work.

Phil has been gone all weekend. He has been on his Sr. Trip to Orlando. I have heard from him several times and he seems to be having a great time. He is due home this afternoon.

Saturday we went to KC to do some shopping. I got 2 outfits for graduation, Scott got some new shirts. Drew was introduced to the world of Polo and thinks all his shirts need horses on them now. (drat that sale) He also got new shoes.

There is something amazing about my youngest son. At almost 5 he can remember details about past events that no one would think he would remember. Like when we were at Oak Park Mall. He had not been there since he was abou 2 1/2 or so. He looked at Scott and told him that they needed to find the store when he could make a bear. He was referring to Build a Bear. He had built a bear there when he was younger and we had not been back to the store since. He was even able to lead us to the store. This is not an isolated occurnace. It happens on a regular basis. He can also see things that a normal person can't see. We have learned that if he says he sees a bus, even if we can't see it, it is there and will come into view shortly. At times I wonder if he as ESP or some sort of psyhic gift. I know kids are more intune with those things than adults. Example. 2 years ago he walked into my bedroom and told me that PAPA (my dad) was going to do something that day. Actually what he said was "papa is going to be happy today" Strange comment - little did I know he was proposing to his girlfriend that morning. All of these things makes me wonder what goes on in his wonderful imaginative head.

faith, trust and pixie dust
C

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I was afraid this would happen

I have 3 boys I don't talk about often. We have been parents to Korean Exchnage Students for the past 4 years. Yoo SUng is now a sophomore at Penn State, Sung is a Freshman at Indiana. Currently we have Aaron(Hae) with us. He will graduate this spring from Seabury with Phil and plans on going to Creighton next fall. This has been the most wonderful expreience for us. We have a plan in the year 2027 that no matter where everyone is in their lives they will all come to my house for that Christmas. They will bring their wives and children and we will have a huge Christmas Celebration.

The Koreans in general are a very proud and gentle population. Many have taken the attack as a personal afront to Korea and its citizens. They are in shock that one of their own could do something like this. They are greiving just as we as Americans are grieving.

Aaron came home yesterday worried that I would be mad at him because it was a Korean who did this. I assured him that I would never hold him responsible for the actions of others. He is also scared he will not be able to get his Visa renewed to come back and study next year.

Unfortunately I am hearing reports from my "sons" of anti Korean feelings towards them. Yoo Sung has said that his American friends have stopped talking to him and those who do not know him or the other Koreans at Penn State are getting many stares. It reminds me of the days immediately following September 11. What happened on that day was not the fault of the Musulim population in this country yet they were blamed for it. The same thing is happening again. Yoo Sung told me he just wants to go home so people will stop staring at him.

When will we learn that we shouldn't hold a population responsible for the acts of one?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I am about to send my almost 18 year old out into the "big bad world" in a few months. I finally start getting used to the idea of not knowing where he is 24/7, that he won't be calling everyday, that he will be doing is own thing, on his own and then.....yesterday happens. I was never scared to go to school. My parents were never afraid to send me to school. They never had to wonder if some one was going to snap and cause a massacre like the one at Virginia Tech. I never had to fear walking across campus or worrying if someone was going to come into my french class and try to blow us all away. That is what I wanted for my son.

I wanted a college career for him of friends, girlfriends, breakups, classes he liked, teachers he didn't, discovery of who he really is, what he really wants to do, late night pizza runs, the occasional underage beer (we all know it happens). College is to be the beginning of the loss of the age of innocence to 18 year olds. But unfortunately yesterday showed that their innocence is lost way too soon. I know he will exprience those things but in a different way.

I don't want to let him go in to that big bad world. I want to lock him in a room and teach him how to be a doctor from the safety of that room. But I know he has to expreience a college career of friends, girlfriends, breakups, classes he likes, teachers he doesn't, discovering who he really is, what he really wants to do, late night pizza runs, the occasional underage beer. I want to hold on a little longer, keep him safe for a split second more. But I know this is not to be. It makes me sad that I can't keep him safe anymore and that he will not know a college career like we did.

My heart goes out to all at Virginia Tech. May God comfort you and shine his Grace upon you in your time of need.

Have Faith, Trust and a Big dose of Pixie dust as we all hold our kids closer today.
C

Monday, April 16, 2007

Disney Again

Yes we are going again. This time it will be Scott, me, Drew, and Scott's mom ML. We are going October 21-28. I have spent a lot of time planning our ADR's (Advanced Dining Reservations) and our days in the park. I have many friends and family who ca't quite understand why I plan so much before we go. They think it is vacation and I should go with the flow. Going with the flow at Disney can be a bad thing. When you are dealing with that many people in a relatively small space it is best to plan. And plan well.

I follow one of the touring plans online. Last year when we went Scott was amazed that in less than 90 minutes we had done 8 rides at MK and had fast passes for 2 others where the stand by wait was 2 hours. We had done the Tea Cups, Small World, Dumbo, Philharmonic, Snow White, Winnie the Pooh, and Peter pan. Those are all in Fantasy Land and fill up fast with little kids. By the time we got off of Peter Pan the standby line was 45 minutes. No Thanks. We then headed to Splash Mountain but first grabbed FP's for ThunderMountain. Scott was SHocked that we were able to ride both in 30 mintues.

As for meals since the Dining Plan it is a must to get ADR's for the places you definelty want to eat. Most are booked 180 days in advance. I can't even book my reservations until April 24th but I have my grid with parks/parades/ and where we want to eat cetain meals. Sit down meals I never leave to chance but I don't worry to much about counter service meals. So see I can be spontaneous. But I do research which ones are better than others.

As for those who comment "you are going to Disney AGAIN?" "Yes we are going again - don't you go to the beach/mountains every summer/winter?" Same difference. It is our vacation and we choose to go visit a Mouse/Duck/Dog/power angers/Beast/Princess/Monsters/THe Incredibles f(the list goes on)or 7 days as opposed to watching the same waves or skiing the same mountain. We do take other vacations - last year we went to Colorado and this year we are headed to NM and also Chicago.

My MIL has never been to WDW and I hope to show her a magical vacation. She has decided going on vacation with me is better than hiriing a tour guide. She is just sitting back and letting me go. 190 days and counting.

Trust and Pixie Dust
Cathy

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Sister

I left my ex husband many many years ago. For a long time things were good between us and we were friends. At one point we talked about getting back together. In fact we were such good friends when Phil was 5 we went on vacation - the 3 of us for a week. Then out of the blue he remarried. His new wife wanted no reminders of his past - Phil. She made his life a living hell. After a while of this torment Phil asked Scott to adopt him. Surprisingly Mike agreed. Found out years later it was because he was wanting to buy a new business and his DTI was off due to the child support he was paying. That is another thread.

Mike has a sister who was closer to me than my own sister. We could get into trouble so fast and have so much fun. I always laughed when I was around Lisa. We were inseperable before and after my divorce. Then when Mike remarried Lisa felt that she had to go with family loyalty and we quit speaking. I understood but boy did I miss her. Things were also difficult between my former in laws and me.

Last year Lisa's youngest child was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Last month they were told he had Type 1 and Type 2. That is very rare. Less than one half of one percent of adults with diabetes have both and that number is even smaller in children. It has been a long year for them. T has been in the hospital 11 times in the past year, the longest stay was over 2 weeks. We almost lost him twice. I have reached out to Peg (former MIL) She and I have become friends again. T went back in the hosptial a couple days ago. I took Phil over yesterday. Before we left for the hosptial I made copies of all the DVD's of Phils performances that I had. I gave them to Peg and she cried. And I cried and Lisa cried. It was like a flood gate of emotion. A bridge had been built. I have been calling Lisa and Peg for the last few months. I just wanted to reach out to them. I know how difficult times like this can be. It is scary and I have been there with my son and my mom.

Yesterday while we were standing around T's hospital bed we started reminicening about my years in the family. I had forgotten so much. Peg, Lisa and I laughed so hard. I was cryingfrom laughter about some of the stories from my past. It felt good. Peg knows about the troubles with my dad and she has listened to me. When my mom died she was at the funeral and held me while I cried. The walls are coming down and we are friends again. Lisa and I want to go to lunch like we used to. I am hoping soon that can happen. We just have to wait till summer someone can stay with T.

My ex still does not speak to me and don't expect that to change. For that I am regretful. But at least I have my sister back.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Life

It amazes me how time gets away from me. I would have sworn that I had updated in the last few weeks but SURPRISE! it has been almost a month.

Seniors at Phil's school are trying to convince parents to excuse them on Friday for a skip day. Forget the fact that they just had a 2 week spring break, Good Friday off, and next Friday they leave for 4 days in Orlando. Plus there is an offical Sr. Skip day in May when the Seniors get to go camping with no chaperones. Plus they don't have a full week of school until graudation because of events. AND they get the last 2 weeks of school off. While the underclassmen are still in school and taking finals the Seniors don't have class.

Trying to explain this to a know it all Senior is very difficult. I told Scott I was waiting till he got home tonight to give him the news that we will not excuse him. I don't want to listent to him whine about it without reinforcements.

On other Phil notes. He has decided to go to Washburn. The Sig Ep house is coming to take him out to dinner next week. They have invited him to spend the night before orientation later this month. I thought for sure he would stay in the dorm but it looks like he may surprise us and go Greek. But that is for him to decide.