Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I am about to send my almost 18 year old out into the "big bad world" in a few months. I finally start getting used to the idea of not knowing where he is 24/7, that he won't be calling everyday, that he will be doing is own thing, on his own and then.....yesterday happens. I was never scared to go to school. My parents were never afraid to send me to school. They never had to wonder if some one was going to snap and cause a massacre like the one at Virginia Tech. I never had to fear walking across campus or worrying if someone was going to come into my french class and try to blow us all away. That is what I wanted for my son.

I wanted a college career for him of friends, girlfriends, breakups, classes he liked, teachers he didn't, discovery of who he really is, what he really wants to do, late night pizza runs, the occasional underage beer (we all know it happens). College is to be the beginning of the loss of the age of innocence to 18 year olds. But unfortunately yesterday showed that their innocence is lost way too soon. I know he will exprience those things but in a different way.

I don't want to let him go in to that big bad world. I want to lock him in a room and teach him how to be a doctor from the safety of that room. But I know he has to expreience a college career of friends, girlfriends, breakups, classes he likes, teachers he doesn't, discovering who he really is, what he really wants to do, late night pizza runs, the occasional underage beer. I want to hold on a little longer, keep him safe for a split second more. But I know this is not to be. It makes me sad that I can't keep him safe anymore and that he will not know a college career like we did.

My heart goes out to all at Virginia Tech. May God comfort you and shine his Grace upon you in your time of need.

Have Faith, Trust and a Big dose of Pixie dust as we all hold our kids closer today.
C

1 comment:

Anna said...

Just breathe, friend, just breathe. As one who has been there already, I know just how hard it can be to let them go into the big bad world, and it seems to be getting bigger and badder every day. We have a secret weapon, though, don't we? We know how the story ends already-and the good guys win. Knowing that doesn't always help to calm the fears, but have faith, trust and a little pixie dust, to quote someone I know!

Anna