November 10

My dad used to be my oldest son's best friend. When my mom was ill they were inseparable. They would fly Phil to St. Louis for weekends so he could maintain their wonderful relationship. One time my mom and dad took Phil shopping and bought him a very expensive sweater. I hit the roof. I didn't think a 13 year old needed a 300.00 sweater. I pitched such a fit they almost bought a second one just to prove something to me.

After mom died things changed. Dad moved on with his life and so did Phil. They went in different directions. Phil grew up into a man my father would be proud of. Phil misses his grandfather. My dad always says "if the phone isn't ringing it you know it isn't me" That is something else he taught Phil. My dad and Phil are very much like my paternal grandmother. They can both hold a grudge and never forgive. THey may even for get what the grudge is about but they if they are certain a person wronged them then Katie bar the door.

It has been very difficult on many of us that what was such a beautiful relationship has gone so sour. their relationship used to be like my grandmother's and mine. I knew no matter what she was there and would share all my special secrets. Phil and my dad haven't spoken in over a year - well except for a shouting match Father's day. Dad has never met Betsy. That makes me sad.

Today I am thankful for my wise son who realizes that my father is older and read me an email he is going to send to his grandfather. Like Phil says "babysteps are better than NO steps"

********To those that demand I take this down. NO this my blog and there is free speech. Nothing was meant to be inflammatory All I was saying was that I was thankful my son had reached an age where he realized his grandfather was getting older and wanted to right the wrongs between them before it was too late.

Hopefully they ( as well as others of us) will be able to repair relationships and move forward.