I feel like I am about to explode. I don't know why I am so edgy but I feel like a powder keg ready to go KABOOOOOMMMMM. and heaven help who ever is on the other end. Every little thing that anyone does makes me jumpy.
My shoulders are killing me. I am not sleeping. Me who has always loved to talk on the phone hates to hear it ring lately. I just want to be left alone. i want no responsibility for a while.
Yeah, I know that is not about to happen. I refuse to feel guilty about having everyone eat leftovers tonight. I refuse to feel guilty that all I want is a bath in my tub and no noise. I refuse to feel guilty that I want my husband to take responsibility for taking care of his wound and ostomy. I refuse to feel guilty. PERIOD. If he can take a conference call when he is not to be working than he can go get his own left overs. i have been at his beck and call for a month now and I am tired and DONE. All I want to do is get in my car and drive to Tahoe or Reno. Maybe come back maybe not - who knows.
I thank my dad and MIL for their moral support but it is time that Scott start to accept some of the responsibilty. I can't come to his office everytime he needs something when he is released to go tot he office. He has to be prepared. I have done all the men in my life a big disservice by being there 24/7 since Drew was born.
I keep asking my friends when it is my turn. Guess what my turn is now.