When do you let them grow up? When do you say I have done all I can? When do you realize that you have given them your values, morals, your all and know they have to make their own decisions? I guess now is that time.
Phil has talked off and on about going into the military for some time. He talks about it, then drops it, then talks about it again. I have told him my feelings. I know we need people to fight for our country, but why my kid? I raised him to believe in right vs wrong. To stand up for the little guy. To believe in himself. To do the right thing in all instances.
He came to me this week and said he was considering joining the Marines. WTH?!?!?! He had been talking to a Marine recruiter and found a program where he can spend the next 2 summers in VA getting trainins and then when he gradutes be a 2nd Lt.
He proved to me he really wanted this when he had to go get a PFT to show his asthma would not be a problem. He had the PFT with in 24 hours of being told by the recruiter he needed to get it. First time in a long time I have seen him motivated to get something done.
I am a typical mom. I worry, I fret. Everyone knows what a bond we share. What would I do if something happened to him? I can't imagine my life with out him around. Doesn't he understand there is a war on 2 fronts and he would be sent there, in harms way? Does he really understand it is an 8 year commitment? I know he sees this as a stepping stone to his ultimate career goal but isn't there another way to get there?
I have to accept that I raised him to do the right thing, to follow his heart and his head, to fight for the little guy. I have to accept I can't keep him my little boy forever. I have to accept this is an adult decision and one he has to make. I have to accept this is the path he wants to choose for himself.
I have to accept he is a man. A man I am proud to call my son.