Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Wish I had the guts

I have commented about Phil joining the Navy. The more I read the prouder I become. I tell him that everytime I talk to him.

I have found 2 wonderful support groups who have answered my questions, put me in touch with their sons to answer Phil's questions, give support when I feel overwhelmed. These groups are amazing. They never feel any question is to silly or emotion too ridiculous.

I had someone (non Navy)tell me not to cry in front of Phil. Navy mom's will tell you it is OK 1) because you are proud, scared, terrified, happy, sad. and 2) if you don't let them see the emotion they may feel you are hiding something and then they worry about you when they need to be concentrating on what is really important.

I wish I had the guts to tell all the well meaning people who say - it is just like going away to college, or they have no clue what he is in for or it will be good for him to be taken down a notch to just SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!! We need your support right now. We need you to tell Phil you are proud of him and that no matter what happens you will be there. Don't tell him the horror stories of what someone may tell you. Don't tell me I have my head buried in the sand. I don't. This is my child we are talking about. My first born. I have spent hours on the internet researching, asking questions, taking notes, understanding this new way of life. I have much more to learn but I will learn it for Phil's sake and for my sake.

You may know some one in the army, marines or who was in the NAvy in the past but this is the Navy NOW!!!!! I am in daily contact with women who are living it, Who have kids doing what Phil wants to do, who have washed out of what Phil wants to do, who tell me what to expect every step of the way. these women have given me and my immediate family more support in the past week than you would believe. I have heard from Nuke School mom's, Mom's of DEP's, Mom's of BC, those who just got out of PIR and are headed for Class A, B, or C school. I know the difference between grad and go and a weekend of liberty when he goes thru PIR. I now know the difference between a frigget and an aircraft carrier. I know what to expect when the form letter comes from basic, and that "kid in a box" is not death but all of their belongings they reliquish at boot camp. My cell phone will be come my appendage and the postman will think I am a stalker. I have been told the STar Bangle Banner takes on new meaning. I know to have Phil get a package A for his photos, and that a good graduation gift is in addition to something nice several packages of Hanes extra soft undershirts. The Navy issue ones are very scratchy.

If you know what any of the things above mean then you are a NAvy mom and know how important it is to get and recieve support. If you don't then please don't give even well meaning advice, just tell Phil he can do anything he sets his mind to, that you are proud of him, and Thank You for what he is doing. And for me, just be there when I am missing my kid and need a friend to talk to.

2 comments:

ProudNavyMom said...

Cathy you said it so well!!! You have way more knowledge and insight than most do especially before their child has even left for basic training!!!
You and Phil are going to be just fine!!!
I'm so proud of you...stay strong!!!
Please give thanks to Phil and let him know how proud I am of him!!!

:)sue
ProudNavyMom

Campbell said...

Go Navy!

Anna