Tuesday, December 25, 2007

What a day!!!!

boy am I tired. I was up at 5:30. No, not to help Santa unload presents. I couldn't sleep. I was excited. Excited to see the wonder and mystery in Drew's eyes when he came down the staircase to the land of conspicuous consumptation that awaited the family. I took the time before he woke up to light the tree, have several cups of coffee (the first alone - the rest with my mother in law).

With the first one I thought of Christmas past. I remembered the wonderment that Drew would feel when he came down stairs. I remembered the meals my mom fixed and my whole family came to join in. It is where I learned what being a "Wolff" was all about.

At this point my MIL joined me. She knew this Christmas was hard. I was away from my dad and sister and missing my mom something terriable. i just ached for her this year. ML started talking to me about what it was like growing up in my family. I told her about the big family get toghethers at the Cork Club with my parents, grand parents, Great Aunts, their husbands and families. I told her about the thanksgivings up at my cousin Kay's farm. It is at these events I think I really learned about family. There was a comraderie that I will never forget. It was the sharing of meals,(stealing sips of grandma's fruity alcholic drinks) listening to the older generations talk of people I never met but somehow they made me feel connected to had come before me.

ML and I then talked about Gib and my mom. Gib was ML's husband. He passed away before Scott and I were married. We talked about what role they would have had in Drew's life. We then started talking about Drew the hand God had in bringing him to us. Knowing that Drew was a special boy who would need lots of love, understanding, and patience that his birthmother would never be able to give him. I find it ironic that his given name was Gabriel and his birhtmother's name was Angel. We talked about how Drew's birth and what some would call coincidence (I call God) brought him to us.

We then talked about the day Phil would become a father and Scott and I grandparents. boy that was an interesting talk. We talked about what kind of a grandfather Scott would be. You can only imagine what we said. We talked about how Phil will be a great father raising his children with the love and understanding that we raised Phil with. I wondered out loud if I would be able to instill in them the sense of family that was passed on to me from future generations. I hope so. This part of the conversation reminded me of a toast my mom or dad used to say on Christmas Eve as we all raised our glass.

"To those who came before, those present today, and those yet to come.

I hope everyone had a magical and memorable holiday with the ones you love.

Here is wishing you faith, hope and pixie dust



Ginger said...

I do hope you and yours had a magical Christmas Day!

Anna said...

And, as Tiny Tim would say, "God bless us, everyone."

elizabeth said...

I missed my mom terribly this Christmas as well. I struggle because the holidays will never be the same for me, but I know I have to make them special for my girls. I'm thinking about you, Cathy, and that void we can't fill - the one we just have to bridge somehow.