What a day!!!!

boy am I tired. I was up at 5:30. No, not to help Santa unload presents. I couldn't sleep. I was excited. Excited to see the wonder and mystery in Drew's eyes when he came down the staircase to the land of conspicuous consumptation that awaited the family. I took the time before he woke up to light the tree, have several cups of coffee (the first alone - the rest with my mother in law).

With the first one I thought of Christmas past. I remembered the wonderment that Drew would feel when he came down stairs. I remembered the meals my mom fixed and my whole family came to join in. It is where I learned what being a "Wolff" was all about.

At this point my MIL joined me. She knew this Christmas was hard. I was away from my dad and sister and missing my mom something terriable. i just ached for her this year. ML started talking to me about what it was like growing up in my family. I told her about the big family get toghethers at the Cork Club with my parents, grand parents, Great Aunts, their husbands and families. I told her about the thanksgivings up at my cousin Kay's farm. It is at these events I think I really learned about family. There was a comraderie that I will never forget. It was the sharing of meals,(stealing sips of grandma's fruity alcholic drinks) listening to the older generations talk of people I never met but somehow they made me feel connected to had come before me.

ML and I then talked about Gib and my mom. Gib was ML's husband. He passed away before Scott and I were married. We talked about what role they would have had in Drew's life. We then started talking about Drew the hand God had in bringing him to us. Knowing that Drew was a special boy who would need lots of love, understanding, and patience that his birthmother would never be able to give him. I find it ironic that his given name was Gabriel and his birhtmother's name was Angel. We talked about how Drew's birth and what some would call coincidence (I call God) brought him to us.

We then talked about the day Phil would become a father and Scott and I grandparents. boy that was an interesting talk. We talked about what kind of a grandfather Scott would be. You can only imagine what we said. We talked about how Phil will be a great father raising his children with the love and understanding that we raised Phil with. I wondered out loud if I would be able to instill in them the sense of family that was passed on to me from future generations. I hope so. This part of the conversation reminded me of a toast my mom or dad used to say on Christmas Eve as we all raised our glass.

"To those who came before, those present today, and those yet to come.

I hope everyone had a magical and memorable holiday with the ones you love.

Here is wishing you faith, hope and pixie dust

Cathy

This is for the Birds

Husbands and kids have the holidays easy. We cook, clean, shop, wrap, in addition to our normal stuff. MY MIL and son are due in an hour from Kansas. So I am headed to pick them up at the train station. My washer broke last week and they were to be here at 1 today to fix it. Still not here. Scott had to come home to work from here to wait for the repair man so I can go get the relatives.

I love Christmas. My mom instilled in me a deep sense of family during the holidays. I have priced it and decided next year - we are going to Disney World and any of our family can join us. If they don't want to that is fine. But I will be sitting on Santa Mickey's lap this time next year.

update

I have been told it has been WAY to long since I updated. So here ya go

Phil was here for Thanksgiving. I was happy to have him here and happy to see h im go. WE had a great time just the 4 of us. It was nice to have some family time.

I am currently in Finals week. I should walk away with an A+ 2 B's and a C. Not bad for 40 years old. I am taking 18 hours next semester.

Drew is anxious for Christmas to get here.

Phil and Mary Lou get here Tuesday December 18. ML leaves December 26 and I don't know when Phil will be leaving. Sometime in January.

scott was accepted to UNM's PhD program. I will be married to a doctor in about 2 years.

Phil got his first speeding ticket a couple weeks ago in a school zone. the ironic part? It was a school zone my mom fought for when my sis was in school and had to cross Burlingame Road.

My Dad and Andrea are due in January for about 5 days. Carolyn is coming the end of Feburary. The Walkers are coming for Spring Break. The B&B is booking fast.

Oh yea and Drew and verbally spell his name.

Anderson Family Law part duex

I know I have been keeping everyone amused by the happenings at the old house in Kansas we are trying to sell. Are you ready for the latest?Let me back track a little. Drew's EEG last week was perfect. According to the doc we can't rule in or out seizure disorder. Just have to wait to see what happens.So thursday I was driving Drew to school and was in stop and go traffic. The cars in front of me started going I started going. the cars in front of me stopped - I kept going. I caused a 3 car pile up in rush hour traffic. One second I was going the next second - there was steam coming from the front of my car. There was an off duty cop who pulled up and took control. He kept asking if I needed Rescue because i was "emotional" - hysterical . ( my insurance agent calls it passionate) I couldnt get my brain to engage. I didn't seem to realize that everything on the seat had hit the floor. I finally pulled it together and called Scott. He got there in no time. He took Drew to school while I dealt with the police. I also called my friend Faith and she called a tow truck and told me where to have the car towed. Scott asked Drew if he was all right Drew said "yes I am fine, but I was scared". Scott asked what scared him His reply - "Mommy screaming". So that was thursday. I spent the day getting a rental and dealing with that. I only broke my pinky.

Fast forward to today. We gave some of the appliances from the old house to my dear friend Kim. Phil met Kim over there to help move them. Kim calls and says "we had to call the police" That freaked me out. Come to find out some vagrants had been sleeping in our backyard. They had been huffing spray paint. Kim and Phil found 20-30 zip loc bags full of dry gold and silver paint, blankets, pillows, underwear. Phil also discovered that someone had broken the lock on the storage shed and took some really odd things - a fish tank, some of drews old toys really bizarre stuff. They even took the trash can that had been in the side yard.The lawn mower and grill were still there. No one had been in the house. The police told Phil and Kim that they had broken up a homeless ring that was sleeping in the woods behind a nearby grocery store and it appeared they had moved to our house!!! The police are now patrolling and stopping twice a shift to check on things. Only one more chapter in how not to move across country and leave a house empty.

more balloons

shapes

this past week has been the 36th Annual Balloon Fiesta. It was amazing. the hardest part is choosing what pics to post. so for the next couple days I am just going to post pics.

balloon pics

Here are a few pictures from our balloon chase on Saturday. We are not scheduled to be back at Balloon Fiesta Park until either Wed night or Thursday AM. I will keep the pictures updated. Allan and Peg Hazlett are due tomorrow night or Wed AM. I am very excited to see them. They are Drew's Godparents and my second set of parents.

Fun Morning

We had a fun morning. We woke up and turned on the TV. The local media was carrying the opening day of the 36th annual Balloon fiesta. over 800 balloons from 22 countries are here. On the spur of the moment we jumped in the car and headed toward Rio Rancho. We did not go to the park but instead drove thru Corralles and up into Rio Rancho. I snapped pictures while scott drove. We saw a balloon land in the middle of the road (the wind blew it there when it tried to land in a field) We were on the search for the Darth Vader balloon - it was shown on TV as inflated and ready to go up. But we never saw it. I think that the winds picked up at the last second and they decided not to fly it. I will post pictures later this weekend.

On another note. Phil got 2 tickets to 2 seperate Garth Brooks Concerts. He is going to sell them. My sister actually got 4 tickets to one show and she is selling 2 to Phil at cost. He is a pretty popular guy around Washburn right now. Hope he doesn't fall asleep like the last time he saw Garth Brooks.

you have heard of Murphy's law?

Well we have decided to rename it Anderson's law. Our relator called today to tell us she had held an open house over the weekend. She said it was all right but there was no electricity!!!!!
I couldn't figure it out. I had been paying the bill. so I got online and looked at the electric company website. It showed our FINAL BILL. WHAT THE HECK!?!?!!? So I called the electric company. AFter being on hold for 30 minutes I got to a live person. the lady couldn't figure it out either. So she put me on hold to investigate. Are you ready for this?

SOME ONE STOLE OUR METER!!!!!!!

Yes you read that right - someone stole our electric meter. Not sure how or when but someone did. I was shocked. All I could do was call my friend Kim and laugh. What else could I do? It will take 3-5 days for a new meter to be installed.

Another First

Don't laugh.This is the first time in my life this has happened. I know it won't be the last. It is just the beginning.

I am feeling a momentary panic. I don't know where Phil is. This weekend is Brotherhood weekend for the Frat. I talked to him yesterday afternoon before the activities started. I knew I would not talk to him until at least tonight. Brotherhood weekend is for bonding and team building with in theFrat. The frat bans alcohol for the weekend for the older guys so I know he isn't drinking. But for the first time in my life I honestly have no clue what he is doing. It is the longest I have gone with out talking to him since we left Kansas.

he has gone on trips and I havne't know his exact location but I have known the general area and what he was doing.

I know he is fine. I checked his bank account and his CC was used at CiCi's pizza today. It is just a strange feeling letting go.

Hit home - my sister will never understand.

This came to me today and really struck a chord...This is what my sister will never understand.

.**************************************************Perspective: The Invisible WomanBy Nicole JohnsonIt started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?""Nobody," he shrugged."Nobody?" The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, "Oh my goodness, nobody?"

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like "Turn the TV down, please" - and nothing would happen.Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder, "Would someone turn the TV down?" Nothing.

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are."He just kept right on talking.That's when I started to put all the pieces together.

I don't think he can see me. I don't think anyone can see me. I'm invisible.It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"Obviously not! No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.I'm invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going she's going she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.*

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

college observations

I have been back in college for a week and a half. There have been many intersting observations. These are just the four that come to mind tonight.

1. If kids were allowed to take notes on their cell phone they would have better notes. That is all I see kids do. Text during class, between class. It is continual. I hope they are on unlimted text plans because otherwise it would be a horrid bill.

2. Kids do wear their pajamas to class. Today I saw a kid - at least 20 - wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt and matching pajama bottoms to class (at 2 in the afternoon) I guess I should be grateful that he didn't have on the Raphel Slippers.

3. Taking notes has changed. My teachers use power point in the classroom. So before everyclass I am required to go to VISTA (UNM version of Blackboard) and print off the presentation. The teachers leave blanks on my version. Then during class I just fill in the blanks. I am not sure if rention is better but boy it sure is easier. We will see how well this works after my first tests.

4. This goes to any mom who happens to be going back to school at Washburn this sememester. If you hear my son talk the way I hear the boys at UNM talk - you have my permission to smack him up side the head and tell him "Your mother could be listening" I am appalled at the language the kids (esp. boys use) I ahve heard every cuss word known to man since I have started back to school and kids don't seem to care who is listening to them. It is horrid. I know they are away from home but if their mom's could hear them they would get grounded or their mouth washed out with soap. Please kids - you never know who could be sitting near you listening to your conversation. The more you talk like that with your friends the more difficult it will be to break the habit when you are in the work place. And there is nothing appealing about how many cuss words you can say in a sentence. If you can't say it in front of your mother then there is no need to say it .

New Mexico Birthday parties

Drew has been invited to 2 birhtday parties this weekend. One for a kid whose mom works with Scott. the other for a little boy who is in Drew's play group.

Today was the party for J - The one whose mom works with Scott. The little boy was turing 4. It was held at a local pizza place - similar to Chuck E Cheese. Scott had told me that parties for mexican families were much different than what I would be used to. He wasn't kidding!!!!
The table was set up for 15 kids plus 10 adults. Then the mom had gone to 4 booths and put reserved signs on them for adults. Familie and friends started to arrive. Oh my goodness. There were grand parents, aunt, uncles, cousins, neices, nephews, second cousins twice removed. You name it they were there. I think there were only 3 kids who were not related to J. Every person was carrying a gift bag for J. I have seen fewer presents at weddings. Paris hilton would be jealous. There were not enough chair/booths for all the people. The kids were given tokens and off they went. Then the pizza's started to arrive. I lost count at 8. But I know there were more. I at first thought it was only J's party that was like this then I looked around the restaurant. There 6-8 other parties going on and they are all the same. Moutains of pizza and cake and more gifts than any child could think of on Christmas morning let alone a birthday party.

scott said most birthday's for local families are like this. Holidays and Birthdays are big events. When a girl turns 15 there is a special party (like a Bat Mitzvah). Families plan for this party and it is carried out similar to a wedding.

Extended Family is big down here. almost like mini villiages raising children. It was interesting to watch. scott says this was small compared to some he has attended when he was here before. I can't imagine hosting a party like that - i finally have a house big enough for it but the expense and the mess just aren't worth it. While I won't be hosting a party for 40+ forDrew's 6th birthday he knows he is loved in New Mexico or Kansas or where ever his family may be.

I think it is happening

UHOH I think it is happening - against my best efforts. In the last week I have noticed when I drive I actually know where I am going. I don't have to get out my map. If someone gives me cross streets I am pretty confident I can get there.I just always remember the mountains are to the East. Iknow that the city was built on a grid and all major instersections are one mile apart. We are having dinner with Tom, Faith and Clara tonight and when Faith told me where the pizza place was I knew exactly where it was. (applause please)

Last night there was a grass fire behind the volcanos by where we live. I looked at Scott and said " that is the other side of the Mesa - so we are fine." He kind of smirked.

I have learned this is the land of manana(tomorrow) which for those who are transplants(most of the caucasian population) it is irritating. Expecting a repair man then maybeyou will see them between 8-4 next thursday but most definelty by the following friday unless it is deemed a fishing day then who knows when you will see them.

Want to see balloons in the AM? Must be under 70 degrees or it is too hot and they can't go up. Looking for a missing body - check the Rio Grande River. Want good Pizza - Dion's or Marios. good mexican? Hot Talmales in Rio Ranco. Chinese/Thai/vietnemse? Golden Banana has great Pad Thai. Best cinnamon rolls and home made tortillas? Definetly the Frontier on Route 66 across from the University. Have Blue Cross Insurance - then you can't use Presbiterian hospital. Couldn't come to a contract agreement. The just ousted the Mayor of Rio Rancho for misapporpriation of funds. The Governer has been gone 3 out of 4 days campaining for president.

Boy, you would think I was becoming at home in albuquerque. Who knew?
But I will always miss Kansas

Drew's thoughts on school

Drew has been in Pre K for a week now. He goes from 8:30-3:30 everyday. He has some very serious thoughts on going to school...

I picked him up from his first day and was chit chatting away as I was driving home. I was asking all the typical mommy questions. Finally he says "mommy will you please be quiet I need to rest. Going to school is hard work" He promptly fell asleep for the last 10 minutes of the ride home and slept for 45 minutes once we got to the house.

Last Friday was a rough day for him. he thought this school was going to be like the Art center and be more like Montesorri type class. It is far from that. He has lesson time, play time, nap time. It is very sturctured. He had a few melt down episodes during the day that caused him to lose his movie privledges for the evening when I heard about them. He also lost going to his fave pizza place to celebrate the first week of school.

Since then he has been fine - now that he understands what is expected of him.
So today I pick him up and we are driving home. He asks to go to McDonalds as a treat for being good at school today. I said no but if he was good tomorrow we would go to Dion's for pizza as a reward for a good week and no bad reports. He asked me if he had to go to school again tomorrow and I said "yes you do". He looked at me and in the most increduolus voice asked "when will this end?"

Not for a long time my little prince, not for a long long time.

Faith Trust and Pixie dust
C

New Era

Well Drew starts school today. Actually it is pre - k but it is all day. He should be in kindergarten but emotionally he is not ready. His teachers in Lawrence last year advised one more year of Preschool to get him ready.

We have a concern tho - not about the school. We like the school. But when we went for meet the teacher the other night Drew had a major allergic reaction to something in the room. We think it was the hay from the bunny cages. His eyes swelled and his nose started running something horrid. The only other time I saw him have an allergic reaction like this was when he was helping Carolyn feed the horses in the barn.

The doc added a second allergy medicine to see if that helped. I will be warning the teachers to call me if there is a problem.

Drew is so excited about school that I don't want there to be a problem for his sake. He packed his lunch lsat night but told me to hold off on the sandwich until this AM. Was worried it would be "icky" if I made it too soon.

This is an emotional day for Scott. I am a little sad but I am also ready to go back to school myself. As long as Drew doesn't have any major reactions to the bunny hay.

My sister

Right after Phil's wreck I was dealing with the insurance garbage that has to be dealt with. I made the mistake of commenting to my sister that the insurance people were driving me crazy. She asked me why I wasn't making Phil deal with it. I tried to explain that it was my car and that I was the only one who could take care of it. She then started accusing me of always stealing Phil's life lessons. She said he was 18 and needed to deal with things himself. I said yes he is 18 but like all of us he still needs mom and dad. She told me I had a mental problem because I would not let go of Phil. She started screeeching at me about how I sucked as a parent. She then said "no you just suck in general". I have not talked to her since.

She and her husband CHOSE not to have kids. I think that if you make that decision that is fine but that is also the day you CHOOSE to not give advice/critisim to those of us that do have kids. Until you walk a few thousand miles in the shoes of a parent you have nothing to say on that subject.

This is my SISTER who said these things to me. Would you say something like that to a stranger? Why in the world would you say something like that to a family member? While I know what she said is in no way true (I have raised one awesome son and have another in the wings) it totally pissed me off.

She has not apologized (she thinks she is right) so she won't. She has done things like this before and every time I forgive her. But this time it is different. She critizied something that I take very seriously - parenting. I decided that like a dog I can only be kicked so many times. And I am done. She did send me a message via Myspace last night (like there was nothing wrong and her in her mind I am sure there isn't) to update my page - but she needed my password. Somehow i don't think she has re-earned my trust to give this up to her. It will take a long time to earn my trust or my respect again.

Faith Trust Pixie dust
C

Political correctness

Political correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

another day.

Phil left today. Off to Kansas to go to school. He will do well. I hope. He left me a thank you note that I found when I was cleaning his room. It was nice. Made me cry. He is to come for Thanksgiving.

Now time to get Drew thru school. He starts PRE K in 2 weeks. I go back to school August 20. Drew is looking forward to school. He will be going all day. I am not sure what I am going to do with myself. STudy a lot. But I realized that for 2 days Drew will be inschool and I won't be. I have no idea what I will do. I have no friends so I will be alone for all day. The house is staying pretty clean and ML will have just left so it will be clean. I guess I will stay home, knit, watch TV and just be alone with me for a change. In Kansas I craved alone time but here it feels weird. I guess because in Kansas I always had something to do or soem place to be that alone time was scarse. Here I have so much alone time I get sick of it.

Off to order dinner for Scott and Drew. I don't feel well so I am gonig to bed when Scott gets home.

Faith trust pixie dust
C

Pictures of the car and other stuff.

Here are pics from the wreck. Phil is lucky to be walking. We called the doc back in Lawrence last night. Phil is developing some unusual indentations in his leg. She had us give him a massive dose of asprin last night and if it is not better we are to take him to the ER this AM. She is wondering if a blood clot is developing.

We went on one last back to school shopping trip yesterday before all this medical stuff happened. His suit got trashed in the wreck so he needed a new one for the fraternity. He also needed jeans, shirts and a new suitcase (thanks TSA). I told him this was the last mother/son shopping trip of his school career. It is time for the tradition to be passed on to Drew, who starts kindergarten next year.

I have gotten enrolled at UNM. I have opted to take the needed/dreaded math classes at the local community college right down the street. cheaper and should not be as intense. I am not a big fan of UNM campus but at least I will be able to complete my degree and get my Master's in the next 4 years.

I have finally found a way to get rid of GWB. My dad sent me this and maybe if we all do it our outlook will be better.

. Open a new folder on your computer.

2. Name it "George W Bush"

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of"George W. Bush?"

6. Firmly Click "Yes."

7. Feel better!

PS: Tomorrow we'll do Dick Cheney...

Faith,trust Pixie dust

C