Spur of the moment

It was a spur of the moment decision. A chance to make a memory and I jumped on it. We had been hearing for days about the space shuttle Endeavor heading to LA to become part of museum. But first it was going to grace the northern California sky. It was to fly over the capitol at 930 this morning. I was literally getting Drew out the door to head to school when the enormity of the event overtook me. I sent Scott a message that we were headed down town. Called Drew's teacher and told her he would be late. So we loaded up. We got downtown about 815 and heard on the radio that the shuttle had just left Edwards AFB and was headed toward us. I managed to find some 1 hour parking and hoped I would not have a ticket when we got back. There were people scattered around the back of the capitol and Drew and I took up spots. I chatted and Drew ran off to check out the turtles and fish in a nearby pond with other kids.

Here is Drew waiting. about 915 people started coming out of office buildings and waiting. One lady was talking to her husband who was on a near by roof top. 930 We heard the shuttle was flying over Stockton 937 it was over Highway 99 in Elk Grove HERE IT COMES!!!! I was so focused on making sure Drew saw it I forgot to take pictures. OOPS. We saw it momentarily before it disappeared behind the other side of the Capitol. WHAT A GYP! Would it come back? The crowd starting disperrsing. We waited. And were rewarded. The pilot flew back over our side. It was huge - but I was shocked at how small it was. Once again I forgot to snap a picture. I was in awe of this incredible machine that had orbited the Earth 4671 times, went on 25 missions, traveled almost 123,000,000 miles, spent 296 days, 3 hours, 34 minutes, 2 seconds in space, and docked with the International Space Station 12 times and MIR once.

This is what we saw the first time it passed by  Pictures courtesy of KCRA.

We were here somewhere.

This is what we saw the second time.

It was memorable and to share it with Drew was wonderful.

Protector/for my boys

When Phil was little, before Scott, it was just us.  From the time he was two until Scott and I started dating,when he was seven, all we had was each other.  We had several songs we would sing to each other at different times.


Last night, Drew was having a rough time.  He was scared.  He has a fear that he can't over come.  He is scared of gollum from Lord of the Rings.  I can't say it is irrational because we all have things we are scared of.  This is his.  It is a paralyzing fear.  When Phil was scared as a kid I sang him a song - this was before the days of YouTube and Ipods.  he had to endure my voice.  (Sorry Phil).  I hope both my boys know that Nothings gonna harm them when I am around.

Last night when Drew was so scared to go down stairs the song came back to me.  I played it on my phone and sang to Drew at the same time.  He was finally able to go down and do what he had to do.
After he came back upstairs he said "thanks for making me brave mom"  That is what a mom is to do isn't it?

This song will be true for my boys for ever and I hope someday they sing it to their children. I like this version better because the first time I saw it Barbara Streisand was singing it to her son.

Love Mom

weekend

Thursday Andrew and I made our trek to San Francisco to meet his Tourettes doctor.  It was an adventure to say the least (the VERY least) But I am happy to report that we made it home.  I get to fight a 100.00 fine I got because I thought the stupid MUNI subway read both of our tickets but apparently it only read Drew's.  When you get off the subway during busy times there are cops waiting to ensure you didn't ride for free.  I didn't ride for free but their stupid machine shows I did.  HUMPH.  Now I get to ride a letter explaining what happened and hope that they waive my fine.

This Doctor does not see the Asperger's in Drew.  so back to square one there.

We get to do it again this Thursday.  Yippee. Yesterday we had a great day.  In the morning we met with CHILL - our home school group and learned about wind and made kites and listened to stories about wind.  While all this was going on  my phone was sending alerts about the real power of the wind in the way of tornadoes that were ravishing the south.  Wish we could have taught about that.  Then home we went.

Last night we went to see The Lorax.  Wonderful movie.  I can't believe it was never on the read list to Drew.  We read so many other Dr. Suess books but not that one.  Bad Mom.  But I will be rectifying that soon.

Today drew is enjoying some down time watching movies while Scott is out for his ride.  ME?  I am supposed to be doing my final Statistics paper for my class.  That is a blog post unto itself.  And I will be so glad when it is over this week.  Scott is also going to the National Homemade Bike show this today.  Not sure what that is but I am skipping it.

I did get my grocery shopping done this morning.  I love that Bel Air allows me to place my order online.  They pick the groceries and when I get there I push a button tell them I am there and they bring the groceries to my car.  Can't get much simpler than that.

I am also preparing for the IEP meeting we have Monday.  Yet another blog post.  Drew does see an audiologist Monday afternoon.  There are several docs waiting to see those results.  I have to make sure I take all the information to the appt. so the results get sent.

So here I sit at my computer doing everything possible to avoid writing my paper.

amazing few days

We have had such wonderful weekend with one day to go.  My pseudo parents Peg and Allan Hazlett have been visiting. Last night we took them to our favorite Korean restaurant.  We are so much we waddled out.  We love the ability to cook on the table grill and share family time.  It is our "special Occasion" go to place.  I think the next time we will be there is when Phil and Betsy and our former Korean exchange student, Hae "Aaron" Chung are all here for Christmas.

Today we took them on a tour of the orginal gold rush area.  We were in the Sierra Nevada foothils.  We wanted to go to the outlet mall in Folsom on the way back but there was no parking and the lot was fuller than "a Superbowl Sunday" so instead we came home and took naps.  For dinner? We headed to TOPS Yogart and ran in to homeschool friends.

Tomorrow Scott has to work - everyone one say "POOR SCOTT" Drew is cutting class - every one say "POOR DREW"  and we are doing the one thing Drew wanted to do while Grandma Peggy and Grandpa Allan were here.  We are going to the Jelly Belly Factory.  We will take the regular tour and then sample popular flavors like Diaper wipe, grass and vomit flavored Jelly Bellys.

Tomorrow in the late afternoon we will end their visit with a trip to SQUEEZE INN. It is a Sacramento landmark that has been featured on Diners Dives and Drive Ins.  We take all visitors there for one meal when they visit.  Make sure you visit the website and check out the pictures of the burgers with their cheese skirts.  I get mine with mushrooms and sour cream.  If I am going to blow it I am going to blow it right!!!!

They leave Wed morning to head for Carmel for a wedding.  The next time we get to see them is when we head to Kansas next summer for our son's wedding which Allan will officiate at. I love their visits and they are too few and far between.

Next time old town sac and the train museum will be on the agenda.

Who would you visit?

I have been very nostalgic for family and friends who have gone before me. This song resonates very deeply. If Heaven Weren't so Far Away who would you want to see and what would you do?

Me? I would want to dance on the daisies with my mom, make fudge with my mooma, rub my poopa's little bald head, and just hug my aunt Doris.

MIA

WOW Have I been MIA for a while. Sorry all. Lots going on. Some good -Some great - Some not so great - some I am not ready to talk about.

When I think about it I would have to say it is all pretty great. I had a wonderful time in Topeka. I came back refreshed in many ways. Scott and Drew survived very well with out me. I came home to a clean house, laundry done, Scott even cleaned out my second pantry and it is very nicely organized. He found time to trim a big over grown tree in the back yard. Now I know what he CAN do. LOL

I spent time with many of my wonderful friends. Had a slumber party with one - but we are old we were in bed by 10:30.

I spent one evening with a dear friend Anna. She is an amazing fiber artist and I learned how to spin. Not very easy. I also got to play with her drum carder and learned how to make batts. I am getting a drum carder for a Mother's Day/Birthday present. I am so excited. Plus I will now be scouring the internet for some wonderful rovings and wool to begin to create. I have tons of ideas for my CHILL kids for the next two semesters as well.

Phil and I got to spend lots of time together. I managed to surprise him with a cake for his fraternity. I have made sure he has had a cake with his fraternity brothers every year of college and I managed to surprise him this year. He was also very surprised to find out he had a party at chuck e cheese on his birthday. THey even had someone get in the mascot suit and come out. I have to figure out how to get the pictures from my phone to my computer so I can get them up.

The biggest news I am allowed to reveal is that we had Drew's IEP meeting yesterday. Very positive outcomes. Lots we knew about Andrew - several concerns that we need to watch but I am happy to report that Drew will be in a brick and mortar school 4 days a week and will continue to do CHILL/Independent Study on Fridays!!! I can't believe the are making that consession. He will however no longer be getting speech and OT out of school but the have promised to try and make arrangements for his old OT who was at SLTA and went to work for the district to take on Drew because she knows him and vice versa so it will make the transition much easier.

I AM

I look around and feel off balance in my life. I look around at everything we HAVE and it doesn't feel right. Why do I need 2 boxes of yarn? Why do I need 4 TV's. There are only 3 of us. We have as many computers as people this house. I am feeling bogged down by all the STUFF that we feel we have to have. I look back at the small house we had in Kansas - it wasn't that small it was 2200 square feet. I wanted more. Now I want to get rid of so much of it. I am tired of stuff. I feel like there has to be more than stuff.

Why do humans always want more? I have jackets I haven't worn in years but I don't get rid of them because some day I MIGHT need one of them. I look at my youngest and I am realizing I am setting a bad example for him. I lost my cell phone and after not finding it in 4 days I had to go buy a new one. I didn't need it. Drew found my phone a couple days later. I am part of the NOW generation. I never WANT for anything. If I want something I go buy it. I am realizing that is not the way to live.

As I have lived in California for the past few years I have realized that so many people have a sense of entitlement. I am one of them. I want to be someone who sets a different example for the world. I don't know how I am going to do it but there is a path I feel I am being called to walk and changing my thinking my step is the first step. Wanna walk with me?

Go to the Oprah site and watch and read about Tom Shadyak and who he was and who he has become. Also learn about what 3 guys have done in Uguanda for the invisible children. After reflecting on how I want to live my life and know I am not fulfilled and it is time to make the changes and follow my hearts desire and give back to this glorious Earth.

65

Yesterday, my mom would have been 65 years old. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her at least briefly. I think anyone who has lost a parent does.

I wasn't sad yesterday, just kind of melancholy. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I would have marked her 65th birthday.

As Scott was leaving for Vestry last night I looked at him and said "She would have been 65 today" HE hugged me and said he saw my tweet and knew she had been on my mind.

Andrew was standing there and asked who was 65. I told him that his Grammy would have been 65 if she was still alive. He said "well she still is 65 today. Just because someone dies doesn't mean that people can't celebrate."

At that point he said " where is the cake and candles?" Scott went to Vestry and Drew and I had a cupcake to celebrate my mom.

Like my friend Elaine said "sometimes it just takes a kids perspective" I think Drew just started a new family tradition.

thought for the day

The road of life has so many twists and turns and obstacles, it is good to have family and friends to help us navigate the difficult ones and celebrate the good ones.

Saturday AGAIN

It seems that Saturdays have gotten into a routine around here. Scott goes for an early ride in Folsom with friends, Drew and I hang out, me on the computer, and Drew watching TV and playing. Pretty content if you ask me.

I remember when I was a kid Saturday mornings were crazy. I had gymnastics, Amie had Basketball, mom had to go to the grocery store and get other errands done. We had to get the house picked up from a week of living. They were fun times looking back. Usually Amie and I had one parent to our selves for part of the day and I always enjoyed the conversation with which ever parent I was lucky enough to spend the time with. I am sure my sister felt the same way as well.

Monday is the BIG day for me. Scott is taking me to the DR. for the last of my tests (I hope) and then I will get some kind of Diagnosis (I hope) and a treatment plan. I am scared of what the doctor might say but at the same time it will be nice to know what in the HELL is going on with me.

When Phil was born I refused an epidural because I couldn't stand the thought of a needle in my back. So I opted for a C-section. Thursday I told Scott I would gladly let them give me an epidural if it would stop the pain in my legs.

Scott is sending me home for a week. I come in April 27 and spend 2 nights with my dad and Andrea. I am really looking forward to it. Dad and I get a day together and that will be fun. Then I head for Lawrence for a 3 hour coffee with Carolyn. that same day there is a mini reunion in Topeka at Huhot for anyone that wants to attend. If you want to come let me know and I will send you the info. I am spending time with Phil and Betsy as well. The main reason for this trip is May 3. That is Phil's 22 birthday. I haven't spent a birthday with him since he turned 18. We are spending the day in Lawrence. We have something very special planned and I am honored that he would want to include me. We plan to go to Seabury and see his old teachers and my old friends. We are going to stop by my old stitch group so I can see some of them and then our special adventure. My sister would be good on this mission. she has wonderful taste. Then lunch at Pachamama's if I have my way. I miss my kid. I want to spend this time with him the same way my dad wants to spend time with me. It took me a long time (I am a little thick headed sometimes) but I get it now and to spend time with two of my favorite men has me very excited to make memories with both of them.

we made it.

we are home. I have tons of pictures to post and stories to tell. We were selected Wilderness Lodge Family of the day and got to raise the flags on the lodge on our last full day. It was amazing. We had a private photog as we did it. The views were amazing. Drew got a blue Mohawk. (pixie dust got to me.) His head is now shaved. We ate too much, spent too much, had more fun that you can imagine. Drew was named artist of the day at the Magic Kingdom and his artwork was displayed at the Disney Art Gallery. I however am paying the price and am having a full blown Fibro flare. I have been flat on my back for 2 days. This is the first day I have been even remotely upright for more than 20 minutes. the pictures will be up in the next few days. And there are stories behind many of them.

Be patient with me. Drew was to start school tomorrow but it has been put off till Thursday due to an emergency with his Program Specialist. Lots of issues that have to be dealt with concerning that as well. I am here and have much to tell and reflect on.

If you have seen one.....

Last was was a rare celestial event. It was a lunar eclipse that happened on winter solstice. This event has not happened in over 300 years. Pretty spectacular if you ask me. Drew on the other hand....

Scott came to bed about 1130. I woke up and decided we all needed to trek into the backyard and witness this event of historical proportion. So Scott woke up Drew and asked if he wanted to see it. Drew was up in an instant. He was so excited. We all went the the back yard - there was a break in the rain so we could actually see the moon. It was at about half covered. I explained to drew the significance of this event. He seemed duly impressed. After watching for a few minutes we all went back in.

I asked Andrew if he wanted me to wake him up in a couple hours so he could see the full lunar eclipse. "No thanks mom, once you have seen one lunar eclipse you have seen them all. I would prefer to sleep."

So much for being impressed.

Pixie Dust Abounds!!!!!!!

I am on Disney Happy Dance today. I hang out on the Disboards quite a bit. It is where I have learned all the ins and outs of planning an awesome Disney Vacation. I know some people like to just wing it but unfortunately at Disney that can't be done. I made our meal reservations back in July (you have to make the 180 days out) A few I have changed over time and fine tuned them. I have planned several character meals for us. I got a coveted Breakfast reservation at Cinderella's castle for breakfast.

I have several surprises planned for the family that I can't reveal here because you never know who reads this (Hi Betsy)

Tonight I got one of the most coveted surprises at Magic Kingdom. It is for an event that only a 100 people or so get to do a night when it is held. It is not offered all the time. I had heard the last night it was going to be offered was December 30 - our first night there but I already had a surprise for that night. I crossed this off my list.

Today I commented to Phil I didn't know why I was stalking the boards so much today because we are 30 days away and things are pretty well done. Then I found it. There was a thread about this event and that it was being extended. I jumped on the phone. I was up against a time crunch because they were doing an system up grade in 20 minutes and no reservations could be made for 24 hours at that point. I told the Cast Member what I wanted and what day. At first she said there as no availability that night. PANIC mode. I started looking at all my carefully planned reservations wondering what I could move to make this possible. All my work 6 months ago was about to go out the window. All of a sudden I hear..."wait there is pixie dust in the air" She had managed to get me a reservation on the night I wanted. I will have to change - probably cancel one dinner that we wanted to do but I think everyone will be happy with this one. I will post plenty of pictures of this in just over a month.

I have been bouncing off the walls since I booked this. I can't believe we get to do this. Bet my family doesn't make fun of my haunting the Disboards anymore.

Rooster day

For as long as I can remember Drew has referred to Thanksgiving as Rooster Day. Not sure why but he has. Yesterday I told him that MEEMA (Scott's mom) would be here on Saturday. He was so excited that she would be here for Rooster Day. I explained to him that she was leaving on Rooster Day before lunch. He was very upset. I told him we would to a Thanksgiving dinner on Wed. I mentioned to ML Drew was disappointed she would not be here to celebrate Thanksgiving. She went online and changed her reservation to say an extra 3 days!!!!! We only get to see here twice a year so we are all thankful for the extra time.

I am so excited she is coming. Sunday we are going to brave the rain and cold to watch Scott race. At least it is at a winery who will be having a wine tasting and pizza to get us through. Not sure what else we are doing. She has offered to help pack but I would rather just spend time with her.

WOW what an experience

We just spent the last 24 hours on the USS Hornet. It was an amazing experience. The history on that place. Scott is down loading pictures now. I will post them later. They had the dads and boys in one area and the moms in another. We ended us splitting the boys and moms due to boys being nervous. Scott stayed with Drew and about 75 of our group. I was with the mom's group and a few young kids.

We were up on the bridge, on the flight deck, in the boughs of the ship, ate in the mess area. We and about 400 other people had run of the ship for tours and lectures from5-11 and again this morning from 7 -930.

My friend Kristina did captures some orbs. If you look closely you can see what appears to be a face in one of them. I met a docent who told me of an incident that happened to him where he was coming out of a private room and had a glass thrown at him.

About 4 this morning our berthing area got very cold. One mom commented she felt a chill from the inside out like she had never felt before. about a half an hour later I felt someone push me from under neath my bunk. When I went to bed there was no one in the bunk under me. I looked over the side to see if one of the little kids and moved. There was no one there. Thought I was dreaming. Oh well back to sleep. It happened a second time. I woke up my friend in the bunk next to me and asked her who was under my bunk. She said no one. I didn't say anything at that point. Suddenly the kid on the bunk above my friend asked her to quit pushing his bunk.

I whispered to Kristina what was going on. We were both a little spooked. About 15 minutes later a cell phone alarm went off. This was the woman who complained about the cold. We had all turned off our phones because signal was so scarce we wanted to preserve batteries as well as not have them going off trying to get messages during the night. When we got up about an hour later 2 people on the other side of the room reported having the underside of their bunk pushed on as well - there was no one under them as well.

So I guess I did have my first encounter with a ghost. I wanted to see one - not be touched by one. Tomorrow I will talk about the history we saw. But I had to share my ghost experience.

today

today's thankfulness? This afternoon Scott took Drew to the train museum with Scouts and I got 3 hours to myself. It was so nice? What did I do? Well it was a raining all day so I had put a roast in the crock pot before church. I fell asleep to the smell of a roast cooking, fresh rain scent and the methodical raindrops falling on the slate roof. It felt so good. Skippy curled up next to me and the cat at the foot at the bed.

I was thankful when my boys arrived home safe and sound and we enjoyed a great dinner together.

back

The past few weeks have been very emotional in our house. We got a new diagnosis for Drew. They think we are looking at childhood onset bipolar. It does explain a lot of things. But to hear them actually say it was devastating. I cried for 2 days. But I realized it could be a lot worse and moved forward. However after 2 melt downs one that almost caused us to call 911 to have him admitted to the hospital several things became apparent. One I can no longer home school Andrew. That breaks my heart. Maybe in a couple years we will try again but now he needs the structure of a special class room. I just am unable at this time to give Drew what he needs to be successful.

Secondly, I realized how hard the last 3 years have been on me. We moved to ABQ, Phil was in a horrific wreck and had to have surgery. Then Scott had a perforated colon and 2 pulmonary embolisms. He survived 2 surgeries and recovered. Then as he was getting ready for his first bike race after that event he was hit by a car and had a broken collar bone. That didn't heal right and requires surgery 6 months later.

For the last 3 years I have focused on everyone but me. That is the way I am but now I am tired, hollow, empty, lonely, and just plain exhausted. I broke last night. I cried for 3 hours. It all just came out. I cried for all that had changed - as far back as my mom being sick, losing her and my grandparents, the changes in my dad, the relationship with my sister the list goes on. It was a mouring of sorts.

I have spent today pretty much on my bed doing home work, sleeping, thinking and just being by myself.

I started looking at random blogs and saw that many people were taking the month of November to blog daily about what they are thankful for. It got me to change my way of thinking. I should not be having a pity party so I resolve for the next month I will do just that. Everyday talk about something I am thankful for. God has blessed our family in so many ways. My husband is still alive, my son is about to graduate from college, my younger son can be managed with medication and lots of teaching by those more qualified than me.

A friend whose blog I follow annonomously had this song on her blog today. And I think it is a good place for me to start.

Cathy

Musicals

When I was a kid my parents made sure my sister and I were introduced to live theatre. We saw shows like ANNIE, La Cage Aux Folles (with Peter Marshall and Keane Curtis) They're Playing Our Song , Chorus Line, this list goes on and on. My sister LOVED Chorus Line so much that when it was bring your fave record to school that is what she brought. She tried to get the teacher to play Looks 10 Dance3 (better known as T&A).

My sister and I have carried this love of theater with us as we have grown in to women. I made sure that Phil saw live theater as a child. My sister once even gave us tickets to CATS so Phil could enjoy the experience. He actually named his cat MCCavity. Phil loved theater so much he took singing and acting lessons in high school and was in EVERY play Seabury did while he attended. As a Sr. he starred in Suessical as Horton. I am proud to say my son played a GREAT elephant. In some ways it doesn't seem like a stretch from his normal lumbering self.

I have put off taking Andrew to theater. I have been worried about his attention span. This fall I have us signed up to see 3 shows at the local children's theater. Scott is out of town, and I found this great TV channel I didn't know existed (guess that is what happens when you have 300 channels to choose from). So I declared it a junk food night and we are going to curl up in my bed and watch CATS on TV. I am hoping it keeps his attention. It is a start.

Am I on a roll? 2 days in a row!!!!!

do you know why I love being a SAHHSM (Stay At Home Home SChool MOM)? Mornings like this one. It was kind of cold and drizzly and we woke up abut 730 or so. Scott and Drew talked for awhile and when I rolled out of bed Drew decided he wanted waffles for breakfast. Fine by me. I pulled out the waffle maker, mixed up some batter and we had home made waffles on a rainy Thursday morning. There is no rushing to get up, get dressed, get breakfast, make lunches, run out the door in different directions. We had a nice leisurely morning. School starts about 10. Done by 1 or so. Then off for an afternoon of fun.

I actually have 2 Tastefully Simple Parties booked. Hopefully a third on the horizon. If you don't live around Sacramento I can always arrange the worlds simplest catalog party. Tastefully Simple makes it easy to have a catalog party anywhere in the country and the new summer line is amazing. Questions - let me know.

been very neglectful

Yes I know. everyday I log into follow everyone else but don't seem to find time to update my own blog.

Where to start?

Scott came through surgery fine. 3 more weeks and he should be able to drive as well a get back on his bike. He is walking everyday and is very happy to be maintaining weight. He is still working from home and appears to be happy doing so. I love it most days.

Phil and Betsy are still dating. Phil told me the other day he had been named to the Greek National Honor Society. Not bad. He is doing better and better every semester.

Drew has offically been diagnosed with Autism. Not a shock but still felt like a kick in the ASS when the told us. They have said it is EXTREMELY high functioning autism but still autism just the same. He is doing remarkably well being homeschooled. We all like it. He is finally reading. I love Hooked on Phonics. It is a god send. We start Math U See after Spring Break and I am hoping Andrew is as successful at that.

I am starting to sell Tastefully Simple. I went to a party a few weeks ago and fell in love with the products. Every time I mentioned to a friend that I was having a TS party they all said "make sure you invite me" or "send me the link I need to order some stuff" That got me to thinking. Why shouldn't I profit from this?

I love being a SAHM. But I never have felt like I have contributed enough. I know I contribute by parenting the kids, taking care of bills, cleaning house, supporting Scott, etc but I always feel like I should be contributing monetarily. Infact while I was typing this TS called and gave me my consultant number so my site will be up and running shortly.

My dad was here last weekend and we had a wonderful visit. Like he says great to see them come - great to see them leave.

Oh the big news it that we are planning a trip back to Disney World for December/Jan of this coming year!!!

I promise to pay more attention to my blog and update soon.