I ain't afraid of no ghost!!!

I have always had an infatuation with the paranormal. I firmly believe there are trapped souls on earth for some reason. I am not sure of the reason why however. I was talking to Grandma Peggy yesterday telling her about our upcoming adventure and she commented how lucky we are to live in a area that has so much history and the ability to enjoy lots of weekend trips to enjoy the things this part of the country has to offer. We are 90 miles from mountains and 90 miles from the ocean. If we go 5-7 hours south we are in LA and I never thought I would have gone to Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive but i have. Drew has asked to go to Lego Land for his birthday this year. I guess I better get on that.

We drop the dog off at 1 with our friend Julie and SKippy and her dog 'Nilla are having a sleep over. We are then headed to Alameda in the Bay area to spend the night on the USS Hornet. It is proclaimed to be one of the most haunted locations in the entire country. We are going with Drew's Scout pack. We are not telling the boys about the history but the several adults are very anxious for lights out at 11 so that we can have some fun. The adults have to take shifts keeping watch. I have been debating taking all night and sleeping tomorrow because I don't want to waste one minute on this experience. I have promised my friend Brooke that I will say a prayer of protection before we all board the ship. She hasn't like my last to attempts. But I promise that I will ask for protection for the boys and adults as I would in any event I would be chaperoning. I want us to all have a safe fun trip.

It is only 46 days until we hit the gates of magic kingdom for our 12 day family adventure. We let Betsy pick the first ride. she chose Dumbo. This is one ride that I have never experienced.

On another note I have finally gotten somewhere with the school district. It is amazing what a well worded letter using words like denying my son free and public education and sending them the bill for the private school of my choice becausey the were out of compliance, can do. I dropped that letter off at the district office at 1. At 2:15 I had a call from the head of the special ed department. by 323 it had been decided Monday afternoon Drew and I would meet with the program specialist at a park so we could talk and she could observe drew. IT was also decided that until all of the details of his placement could be worked out the district would provide a teacher coming the home to school work. They will see the real issues at that point. We see the specialist on Monday AM to start getting some answers.

Well off to buy a digital recorder for tonight. See everyone tomorrow.

November 12

Thankful for a husband who brings me coffee with just the right amount of creamer

thoughts for today

There are times in your life when you realize you are tired of the shit. You are tried of trying. You are tired of reaching out only to become a scapegoat for other peoples frustration. I have people in my life that I love, I have people that I like, I have people that are related by blood, I have people who are related by a bond stronger than blood.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they have evaluate what is truly important and who you are and what you are willing to put up. Life it too short for other people to bring un needed drama to your life.

I have a full life. A husband who loves me, an older son who is loving and caring, a future daughter in law that I can laugh with, and a young son who despite of ( or because of) his struggles is funny and loving and a bright spot in every day of my life. I am truly blessed.

I have a church family who is only a phone call away, who has helped me through many emergencies when no one else was around. I have a home school family who has held me while I cried dealing with the issues with Drew I have a special friend, who despite her disabilities, is always willing to listen and loves Drew unconditionally. She seems to understand him when no one else does. In Kansas I know of many friends that I could call on a moments notice that would drop everything and coming running to my aid - and I to theirs.

For a long time I avoided conflict with people because i didn't want to deal with the fall out that I knew was inevitable. Now I am not willing to deal with them because life is to short and God doesn't expect me to turn the other cheek forever. I have tried, I am tired and I am done.

And no this blog doesn't come down either.

November 10

My dad used to be my oldest son's best friend. When my mom was ill they were inseparable. They would fly Phil to St. Louis for weekends so he could maintain their wonderful relationship. One time my mom and dad took Phil shopping and bought him a very expensive sweater. I hit the roof. I didn't think a 13 year old needed a 300.00 sweater. I pitched such a fit they almost bought a second one just to prove something to me.

After mom died things changed. Dad moved on with his life and so did Phil. They went in different directions. Phil grew up into a man my father would be proud of. Phil misses his grandfather. My dad always says "if the phone isn't ringing it you know it isn't me" That is something else he taught Phil. My dad and Phil are very much like my paternal grandmother. They can both hold a grudge and never forgive. THey may even for get what the grudge is about but they if they are certain a person wronged them then Katie bar the door.

It has been very difficult on many of us that what was such a beautiful relationship has gone so sour. their relationship used to be like my grandmother's and mine. I knew no matter what she was there and would share all my special secrets. Phil and my dad haven't spoken in over a year - well except for a shouting match Father's day. Dad has never met Betsy. That makes me sad.

Today I am thankful for my wise son who realizes that my father is older and read me an email he is going to send to his grandfather. Like Phil says "babysteps are better than NO steps"

********To those that demand I take this down. NO this my blog and there is free speech. Nothing was meant to be inflammatory All I was saying was that I was thankful my son had reached an age where he realized his grandfather was getting older and wanted to right the wrongs between them before it was too late.

Hopefully they ( as well as others of us) will be able to repair relationships and move forward.

November 9

I look at the issues we are having with Drew and I get so frustrated. Then I watch the news and realize how blessed I truly am.

Enough said.

Something good

When I was growing up my dad used to wake up my sister and I by coming into our room and loudly proclaiming "SOMETHING GOOD IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY - YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND IT" It was always a positive way to start the day. It might be something small like some cute guy smiling at me or something important like an A on a paper. It was my dad's way of always making us learn that even in the chaos of the storm there was always something that could make a day special.

With all the chaos in my life right now - the waves are all around and I am sitting in the boat being still - remembering He is God. At the same time I am cognizant of the small things that make every day special.

today

today's thankfulness? This afternoon Scott took Drew to the train museum with Scouts and I got 3 hours to myself. It was so nice? What did I do? Well it was a raining all day so I had put a roast in the crock pot before church. I fell asleep to the smell of a roast cooking, fresh rain scent and the methodical raindrops falling on the slate roof. It felt so good. Skippy curled up next to me and the cat at the foot at the bed.

I was thankful when my boys arrived home safe and sound and we enjoyed a great dinner together.

back

The past few weeks have been very emotional in our house. We got a new diagnosis for Drew. They think we are looking at childhood onset bipolar. It does explain a lot of things. But to hear them actually say it was devastating. I cried for 2 days. But I realized it could be a lot worse and moved forward. However after 2 melt downs one that almost caused us to call 911 to have him admitted to the hospital several things became apparent. One I can no longer home school Andrew. That breaks my heart. Maybe in a couple years we will try again but now he needs the structure of a special class room. I just am unable at this time to give Drew what he needs to be successful.

Secondly, I realized how hard the last 3 years have been on me. We moved to ABQ, Phil was in a horrific wreck and had to have surgery. Then Scott had a perforated colon and 2 pulmonary embolisms. He survived 2 surgeries and recovered. Then as he was getting ready for his first bike race after that event he was hit by a car and had a broken collar bone. That didn't heal right and requires surgery 6 months later.

For the last 3 years I have focused on everyone but me. That is the way I am but now I am tired, hollow, empty, lonely, and just plain exhausted. I broke last night. I cried for 3 hours. It all just came out. I cried for all that had changed - as far back as my mom being sick, losing her and my grandparents, the changes in my dad, the relationship with my sister the list goes on. It was a mouring of sorts.

I have spent today pretty much on my bed doing home work, sleeping, thinking and just being by myself.

I started looking at random blogs and saw that many people were taking the month of November to blog daily about what they are thankful for. It got me to change my way of thinking. I should not be having a pity party so I resolve for the next month I will do just that. Everyday talk about something I am thankful for. God has blessed our family in so many ways. My husband is still alive, my son is about to graduate from college, my younger son can be managed with medication and lots of teaching by those more qualified than me.

A friend whose blog I follow annonomously had this song on her blog today. And I think it is a good place for me to start.

Cathy

Army of Women

My friend Elaine had a wonderful blog post and wanted to let everyone know about an amazing opportunity.

Have you been touched by breast cancer? In todays society it is hard not to find someone who does not have a story about being touched by breast cancer in someway shape or form. Whether is a mom, sister, aunt, friend, or themselves everyone is being touched by this disease in one way or another. My grandmother had breast cancer. My dear friend Mary recently beat the disease. Their courage and strengh were an inspiration to me.

My mom was sick for many years and she signed up for any study for her disease that came her way. She wanted others to benefit from what could be found through her and the disease she fought. It was also an inspiration to me as well.

For these reasons I am asking you, my readers, to give a little of your self to help fight breast cancer in a way you may not have thought about before.

Avon Army of Women is working with many medical studies to find a cure. Take 2 minutes and go to the website. It will give you a chance to sign up for studies you might qualify for. I currently do not qualify for any of the studies but as soon as one comes for that I meet the qualifications for I will sign on the dotted line.Occasionally you might get an email notifying you of new studies. If you qualify you can sign up a study that might just find the key that unlocks the door to curing a disease so that our future, daughters, sisters, aunts, friends won't have to fight and leave this world early.

Do this for those in your life touched by Breast Cancer, Do it for yourself.

Musicals

When I was a kid my parents made sure my sister and I were introduced to live theatre. We saw shows like ANNIE, La Cage Aux Folles (with Peter Marshall and Keane Curtis) They're Playing Our Song , Chorus Line, this list goes on and on. My sister LOVED Chorus Line so much that when it was bring your fave record to school that is what she brought. She tried to get the teacher to play Looks 10 Dance3 (better known as T&A).

My sister and I have carried this love of theater with us as we have grown in to women. I made sure that Phil saw live theater as a child. My sister once even gave us tickets to CATS so Phil could enjoy the experience. He actually named his cat MCCavity. Phil loved theater so much he took singing and acting lessons in high school and was in EVERY play Seabury did while he attended. As a Sr. he starred in Suessical as Horton. I am proud to say my son played a GREAT elephant. In some ways it doesn't seem like a stretch from his normal lumbering self.

I have put off taking Andrew to theater. I have been worried about his attention span. This fall I have us signed up to see 3 shows at the local children's theater. Scott is out of town, and I found this great TV channel I didn't know existed (guess that is what happens when you have 300 channels to choose from). So I declared it a junk food night and we are going to curl up in my bed and watch CATS on TV. I am hoping it keeps his attention. It is a start.

colds

Have you ever noticed that Colds come at the most inopportune time? Not like anyone wants to schedule when they have a cold but honestly they always seem to appear at the worst possible - most busy time for me.

Take the one I woke up with. Yesterday I felt out of sorts - kind of crabby and just not my self. I am usually such a ray of sunshine. If you believe that I have part of a bridge in Brooklyn to sell ya. Anyhow, in the middle of the night I woke up feeling achy and by morning I was sure my head was going to explode and Scott would be having to clean grey matter off the office walls.

My week? Tonight is the kickoff for the Scout Pack fundraiser. Who is to present it to the parents? ME! Tomorrow Drew has his tutor and his therapies and I have choir tomorrow night. We will see what happens. Friday is CHILL (our homeschool co - op.) I am supposed to teach. My co-teacher is away on a business trip. Then as soon as CHILL is over we are to head to Bodega Bay for a CHILL camping trip. IF we don't do that we are supposed to go to OctoberFest at church as well as the Bishop is coming for his visit on Sunday morning to church. Not to mention I have to teach Drew all week.

I checked the scheudle and I have tried to explain to this cold that 3 weeks from now would be better if it would like to rebook. I was met with a full on coughing attack. Guess this cold and I will not be seeing eye to eye and it is planning on sticking around a few days.

Saturday Morning

Well it is Saturday morning. Again. Scott and his friends are on a re-con ride getting ready for the GranFondo which is coming up in a few weeks. I am staring at a mound of laundry. But instead I think Drew and I will go get lunch and go to the library. And Skippy needs his nails cut, and the car needs washed, and I am sure I can find 10 other things to do besides the laundry. But it will be waiting for me no matter what. So I will get it started.

We are getting ready to start our next section of ancient history. We will be spending a month or so studying Ancient Egypt. I have some fun stuff planned. We are going to mummify a chicken. I will take pictures to help document this one.

CHILL has started up again. Yesterday was like the first day of school for our homeschoolers. There was such excitement in the air as everyone gathered. New students, old students, new and old moms - all with the mission of giving their kids one more outlet for learning. Drew is taking Spanish, Nutrition and Getting ready for Fort Ross. That is several posts in itself so stay tuned for our living/learning time at Ft. Ross. I am teaching ASL. I have a great group of kids. My co teacher is such a great funny lady she should be the head teacher because she can keep their attention better than me. But together we make a GREAT team. I swear if I could I would get her on Last Comic Standing. She would walk away with it all.

IF I had my way Drew and I would be spending the day at Disneyland. Too bad it is a 6 hour car trip. I wish it was closer. I would never get laundry done. I tried to convince Scott we needed to go again for Halloween but I was informed that Christmas in Florida was enough. HUMPH.

We are headed camping next weekend with our CHILL group. We are going to the sand dunes of Bodega Bay. The weather is supposed to be good. LASt camping trip of the year. We need to start thinking about where we want to go next summer so we can get it booked. People start booking campsites in February for the summer. So I need to pin Scott down on where we are going. WHAT AM I SAYING????? No one would believe I enjoy camping now. There is something totally different about camping in California.

well the laundry waits and drew is STARVING.

FTPD

C

Unit Studies

I think I may be getting the hang of this. This school year, so far is much better than the last. We are having fun. I am not nearly as uptight. I see lots of progress being made.

I attended a class a few weeks ago on unit studies. This used to be how school was taught. Most of the subjects were incorporated around a topic (writing, history, science, art, English). So I decided this year I would try my hand at using unit studies to teach Drew about the ancient civilizations. We just finished Mesopotamia and will start Ancient Egypt next week. When I was 8 I had no clue what the Fertile Crescent was let alone it was bordered by the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, Drew does and he can explain what a shaduf is and how it works. We learned that the Mesopotamians invented the wheel as well as the flush toilet (I thank them for both). We have learned about Cuniform and ziggurats. We have drawn pictures, colored maps, made puppets, discussed agriculture, roles of men and women. The list goes on. It has been LOADS of fun for both of us.

Today he started asking about where Dracula came from as well as Frankenstein, werewolves, why mummies were supposed to be scary. He already has Halloween on his mind. So it hit me. I home school! I can teach what I want! If it excites Drew then let's learn about it. We are going to take about 2 weeks close to Halloween and do a unit study on the myths and legends of Halloween.

We have the big trip in December that he doesn't know about. So, why not do a unit study on the life of Walt Disney and his vision? I actually have unit studies planned for the next 5 months. Maybe this will be one way to keep school going year round. In the summer we just do a couple unit studies.

We still do math and spelling most days but we have so much fun with these studies it is hard to get the other stuff in like we need to.

I found this video the other day and it sums up homeschooling so well. I was terrified at the beginning but my home school friends have helped so much. I have learned that every day there are opportunities to learn that don't involve a classroom. We embrace learning in a totally different hands on way. We now go camping, play dates, park days, museums, field trips to all sorts of places. We are going to Monterey Aquarium in November, Fort Ross in April. Drew will be taking Spanish, nutrition this semester with our local co-op. He is also taking a year long class to get us ready for Fort Ross and when we get back he will have to make a presentation board about what he learned. He has already picked his country for our International day.

I get really irritated at our pastors wife. She is a teacher and every time she sees Drew she asks him math questions, spelling questions, English (noun verb) questions. She is continually tell me that he is behind. UMM...NO he is not behind, he is where he needs to be for him. How may second graders do you know who can point to the Tigris River on a map and explain that is now an area in conflict? The math and spelling will come - heck Phil can't spell and he is about to graduate from college.

I guess what I am trying to say (getting off my soap box) is that while home school is not for everyone. For us it has been the best thing we CHOSE to do.

THAT day

9 years ago I was driving my son to school after a dentist appointment. We were listening to the radio when the announcer announced someone with really bad direction had flown a small aircraft into the World Trade Center. WOW that is crazy I thought. We kept driving. A few minutes later the announcer came back on and said - it happened again - another plane had hit the other tower and it was a commerical aircraft carrier. WOW that is even crazier. Phil asked me what it meant. I had no idea but I assured him (with the confidence that every mother has in moments like this) that everything would be all right and he was safe.

I got him to school and walked in and told the secretary something crazy was going on and she needed to find a radio. I explained what we had heard on the radio. At that moment all of her phone lines started ringing with concerned parents. I hugged Phil good bye and said I would see him after school. I remember calling Scott on my way home and telling him he needed to find a way to get some news. This was 9 years ago before constant, instantious internet news coverage.

I went home and turned on the TV. My sister called (or maybe I called her) we sat watching the TV trying to figure out what was going on. We were 60 miles away from each other and it was one time in our life that I truly felt close to her. Our parents were on the way to DC on vacation. They were driving. My cell rang and it was mom. Amie called Dad on her cell. One most of my vivid memories is my sister yelling "OH MY GOD it is going down" as the first building fell. We watched in horror connected by that phone at what was happening before eyes. We begged them to come home. Finally they realized this was major. They were driving and only had our accounts and the radio to go by. They did turn around and head for KC.

The other day I was talking to Phil about what he remembered. He recounted what happened as the school day continued. I remember fighting the urge to go get him and bring him home (that safe haven every parent feels about their house for their child). As Phil and I talked the other day it hit me. For his generation, this is the first "I remember where I was when...." they will have. He was the about the same age I was when I had my first one of those moments,John Lennon being shot. Somehow, now that memory doesn't compare to his first of those memories.

I remember that day, 9 years ago wondering about the world my child was growing up in. 9 months later we adopted Andrew. He doesn't remember a world where you don't have to take your shoes off at the airport, or packing all your liquids in your checked bags. This is the first year I have exposed him to what happened that day. I wanted him to maintain his belief that the world is inherently good as long as possible.

I pray for Phil, his generation has VERY few of the "I remember where I was..." moments. I hope for all of us there is never another day that causes such fear. But like my friend Allan said... If you give into the fear, you let them win.

On the move

Well it appears we are moving. No, not back to Kansas. (sad) Not back to Albuquerque either. We are moving about 6 miles from here. We will be downsizing BIG time. Fine by me. When we rented this house we anticipated that Phil would be moving to California at some point and we wanted him to have his own space. Well, obviously that is not happening.

So it is time to move. Our new house will be about the size of our house in Lawrence. Smaller backyard. Not sure what we will do with the pool or the trampoline. (getting rid of the trampoline will be hard. It was one of the last things my mom gave Drew - sentimental)

But the people who own it planted about 100 rose bushes. The owner hopes they are still surviving. He is concerned the current tenants have not taken care of things like they should have. That is why he likes us. We have taken care of our current house like it was ours. The owner has agreed to the dog and the cat. Not sure how Cavity will like the move. He is a pretty stubborn cat.

Not sure if the official move date is November 1 or December 1. I am hopeful it is November. Scott's mom is to come out for Thanksgiving and I would prefer to be in the new house so she doesn't have to navigate stairs or deal with everything being in boxes and my stress level during a move. Just have to see what happens.

bicyclists have families too

Scott has been gone for a couple weeks working in Albuquerque. He got home late last Thursday night and couldn't wait to get on his bike Friday morning and go for a long ride.

He came home pretty shaken up. While riding a white dully pulling a trailer actually slowed down and hit him in the back of the head with the side mirror. Then the truck kept trying to hit Scott with the side of the truck. Scott was finally forced into a ditch to get away from the 5 people in the truck. This is not the first time Scott has had a run in with a car. Not quite a year ago many will remember he was hit by a car and broke his collar bone. He is still recovering from that and the subsequent surgery.

Don't people realize that cyclists have families.People who love them - wives, kids, moms, dads, sisters, brothers. The roads are not owned by the cars. There are bike lanes for a reason. Sure there are some cyclists who do not obey the rules of the road but most cyclists are curtious, obey the rules. they bike for a variety of reasons, better for their health and enviroment, one car family. It this economy many cyclists can't afford gas for cars and choose to ride a bike as away to save money.

I cringe every time Scott goes out to ride. I always pause for a second and wonder if he will come back in once piece. Please remember that cyclists are motorists too but they don't have the 3000 pounds of metal surrounding them - the cars do.

back again

The past few weeks have been HELL. I have been in pure survival mode. The docs tried Drew on a new med. It was causing rages every couple hours. It was crazy. Even he didn't understand. We couldn't get school work done. It was taking 2 hours to do 14 math problems. I was so ready to chuck everything in and send him back to school and make it their problem. I hated being around my son and I hated myself for it. How could I not like being around my son. He was saying totally hateful things and I didn't know where to turn.

Monday I called his neurologist and told them we had to take him off the Depakote because it was going to be me or him. They got me an emergency appt for Tuesday afternoon. I didn't give him his Depakote on Tuesday because Scott was out of town and I knew I could't take it.

When we got to the appt. Dr. Rainia came to the waiting room personally to get him. We went into a conference room with 2 med students. We reviewed Drew's history and Dr. Rainia noted that all the meds we tried had had the opposite effect. Respirdal caused depression (it is a anti depressent) Abilify was to improve the Tourette's - it made it worse.

He went on to explain to the med students that with kids like Drew who had the opposite effect on meds that they had to think outside the box. He explained to all of us that by accident he had discovered a drug for Parkinson's and Restless leg Syndrome that worked in about 50% of kids. Was I willing to try. HELL YES!!!! I knew I couldn't take anymore of what had been going on.

Drew took his first dose Tuesday night. Wed he got up and got dressed, did 3 hours worth of school work without fight. Went on a play date and there were no arguments the whole time. CAme home ate dinner, took his bath, never balked or fought back when told no. NO rages . he was amazing. took another dose last night. same thing today. Did his work (it was a short day because of getting ready to camping this weekend) didn't get upset when he made a mistake on his spelling test. He caught hte mistake and corrected it. He didn't get upset when he only got a 99 because he forgot the E on "have" in his dictation. he even took out the recycling with out being asked!!!! He even told me he loved me. I haven't heard that in a long time.

He has been pretty hyper but I am not sure if that is because now that his mind is clear so much is racing that he can't keep up or because we haven't started the daytime dose - that starts tomorrow in addition to the night time dose.

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. But if this works, I will be eternally grateful. The past 2 days have been amazing. I hope they keep up. I will keep you posted.

change of plans

Well the trip to Disneyland is out. With the questions about my health right now Scott was not too excited about me taking Drew for 6 days with no back up. Plus the money we save on that mini trip can be applied to the BIG trip in December. In some ways I am actually relieved that we are not going. Drew was all right with it after I promised that SOMETIME in the future we would take a big trip with Phil and Betsy. He just doesn't know when.

On the health front, we see the neurologist tomorrow morning to hopefully get some answers about all of this. The eyesight is improving. It will never be what it was but hopefully it will continue to improve.

I get so frustrated. There are so many things I want to do with Drew but I can't. I feel like he is getting short changed. I feel all right in the morning but by afternoon it is all I can do to move and stay awake. Tried to get in the pool with the guys on Saturday. The water was too cold and I spent 5 hours trying to get warm and waiting for my muscles to "unseize"

I refuse to have a "pity party" This was the hand I was dealt and I will deal with it. I know I am getting ahead of my self because we don't have a diagnosis yet. I am hopeful that what ever this is there will be a treatment and I can get my life back and have the engery to do the things with Drew and go back to being the wife and mom that I used to be and that Scott, Drew and phil deserve.

so I slowed to a stop

OK I was on a roll getting back into the swing of blogging. I got stuck. Life goes on here. I have been working hard on getting the first couple weeks of lesson plans done for Andrew. I am trying a new approach to teaching this year. Last year we got off track quite a bit. This year, I have written plans and I have showed him that there is a little box next to each thing to be done. Once we finish a lesson he can check it off. when all the checks are done then we are done for the day. Hopefully this will help. I have added much more writing this year. He hates to be forced to write. But there are somethings that just have to be done.

On a much more exciting note. I made our plane reservations for both the Orlando trip as well as the trip to Anaheim in September.

The trip in September was to orginally be a family trip but Scott can't go. I tried to find someone to go with me. I offered to buy their park ticket and hotel if they paid for the plane and their food. But I had no takers. So I decided to fly and it will just be Drew and I. I think we will have fun. We are staying HERE. They have a great pool so I am sure some time will be spent there. I do wonder how many times I will be forced to ride Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, and Haunted Mansion. We both love the Toy Story Ride. Drew will actually be taking a class on California history while we are there. It is taught by Disney cast members - that should be fun.

Plans for the trip in December are coming along. Been making payments and plane reservations. We are staying at the Bay Lake Towers for that trip. We have a 2 bedroom Villa. All 3 kids will share one room (2 queen size beds) and Scott and I will have the master (kind size bed). It has a kitchen, living room, washer and dryer ( like I use those). Making all the meal reservations has been a challenge. Who knows where we want to eat 6 months out but with the Disney Dining plans there is no choice. I managed to get everything I wanted. I went back to change some stuff yesterday and some restaurants are already booked and have no availability. "Doing Disney" takes planning. I have decided I will do some blogs over the next few weeks that pertain to doing disney the right way and sites that help me plan. When we lived in Kansas - our travel agent would call me when people had Disney questions because I knew it better than she did.

So back to FTPD

C

I am on a roll.

It is hot here. And when it is hot a person wants to swim. But to swim requires going to a pool. I hate pools. too many kids who are unsupervised, who pee in the water (or worse) to me it is too stressful. so instead we brought the pool to us.

Here it is

Just what every one needs: and 18 foot across byt 4 foot deep pool. Did you know that is 7600 gallons of water? Not looking forward to my next water bill. But Drew loves it and I am hoping it makes the summer smoother.

back in the saddle

We are home from a wonderful 2 week vacation in Kansas. Saw lots of good friends and had lots of fun. My lost the site in my right eye. They say it is temporary but it is still disturbing to go from 20/40 to 20/180 in my eye. When I look thru it I feel like I am looking thru a windshield that has mud thrown on it. They orginally thought it was caused by MS but my MRI was clear. I see my doc on Monday and hopefully we will figure this out.

It appears the trip to Disney is on for December/January. We (Betsy and me) can hardly wait. Drew doesn't know yet and Scott and Phil just humor us. We are eating at Cinderella's Castle one morning. I managed an 8 AM reservation. They are hard to come by so that was a real coup for me. More on the trip as time goes on.

Did I mention we have a dog now? We have a Chiweenie named Skippy. He is part Chihuahua and part Dachshund. He is a real love. He is named for the main character in a series of children's books called "Skippy Jon Jones" Drew loves him to pieces. Skippy is really attached to me because he sees me as his rescuer.

FTPD

C

Where have I been?

Where o where has Cathy been? That seems to be the question. Currently we are in Kansas on an extended vacation. i have spent a good deal of time in doc offices but more on that later.

things in Sac are fine. I have gone back to school full time but that seems to be on hold.

Drew is doing awesome.We are on break from Home school. We will start back up mid July. He has new therapists as the MIND center cut its budget.

Scott is riding all the time. Spent Father's day riding 85 miles up to Nevada city. I went and picked him up and spent the day watching the Nevada city Classic.

I am thrilled my class reunion is over. It amazes me how some people never change. I am surprised they don't drown with their noses so far up in the air. Several people have already stepped up to do the 30th.

the best part of the reunion was seeing my best friend from high school that I hadn't see in 23 years. Scott said he didn't think we would ever stop hugging.

we are going to spend the 4th of july at 3 different parties. looking forward to seeing lots of old friends from Lawrence.

Well, now everyone is up to speed. I promise to be a better blogger.

21 years ago

21 years ago right now I was watching the moon rise from a room in the maternity ward at Stormont Vail in Topeka Kansas. Little did I know a few hours later one of my most precious gifts would be given to me.

does not compute

Drew and I had his Cub Pack meeting last night. Bit news he acheived his Tiger Rank and got his Tiger badge. Now for the humor of the evening

The Cub Master mentioned several times during the evening that is family was taking off today for Disneyland. Drew looked at me and asked when we would be returning to Disneyland. I told him that we would be going in September for a Homeschool conference. Andrew looked at me and said 'Mom Homeschool and Disneyland don't belong in the same sentence." Hard to argue but we are going anyway.

I usually think

Yes I think (as scary as that is) but what I was going to say was during the day I think of all sorts of wonderful things to blog about. Problem is I am not at my computer at the time so by the time I get to my computer I draw a blank and blog about nothing. I think there was a TV show about nothing at one time. Wish my blog could be that popular.

On Tuesday,April 13 my oldest friend is coming to visit. We have been friends since 5th grade. not saying how many years that is but if you read my older posts you can figure it out. planning on doing very little. Just sitting out back and drinking margaritas, eating salsa and talking. We are going to San Francisco for a day but that is it. I love company that is easy. They don't want to be entertained they just want to be. The obligatory trip to Squeeze Inn is on the list. She wants to check out a couple bead shops. Like I said easy. I have very few friends that are like that. Lori is one. The others would be Kim and Anna. Most people you feel like you have to entertain. With them I know they are coming to see me. That is what makes it easy.

chaos reigns

A little chaotic around here tonight. Andrew is entertaining his first sleep over guest. His friend Jake is here. Talk about abounding energy. They are currently playing on the trampoline. I guess as long as there is no blood or crying things are good. I love the sounds of children laughing. Don't you? So innocent and playful. I remember those days.

some days

Some days you just need to sigh, say WTF and find the Xanax followed by a Cosmo Chaser

Am I on a roll? 2 days in a row!!!!!

do you know why I love being a SAHHSM (Stay At Home Home SChool MOM)? Mornings like this one. It was kind of cold and drizzly and we woke up abut 730 or so. Scott and Drew talked for awhile and when I rolled out of bed Drew decided he wanted waffles for breakfast. Fine by me. I pulled out the waffle maker, mixed up some batter and we had home made waffles on a rainy Thursday morning. There is no rushing to get up, get dressed, get breakfast, make lunches, run out the door in different directions. We had a nice leisurely morning. School starts about 10. Done by 1 or so. Then off for an afternoon of fun.

I actually have 2 Tastefully Simple Parties booked. Hopefully a third on the horizon. If you don't live around Sacramento I can always arrange the worlds simplest catalog party. Tastefully Simple makes it easy to have a catalog party anywhere in the country and the new summer line is amazing. Questions - let me know.

been very neglectful

Yes I know. everyday I log into follow everyone else but don't seem to find time to update my own blog.

Where to start?

Scott came through surgery fine. 3 more weeks and he should be able to drive as well a get back on his bike. He is walking everyday and is very happy to be maintaining weight. He is still working from home and appears to be happy doing so. I love it most days.

Phil and Betsy are still dating. Phil told me the other day he had been named to the Greek National Honor Society. Not bad. He is doing better and better every semester.

Drew has offically been diagnosed with Autism. Not a shock but still felt like a kick in the ASS when the told us. They have said it is EXTREMELY high functioning autism but still autism just the same. He is doing remarkably well being homeschooled. We all like it. He is finally reading. I love Hooked on Phonics. It is a god send. We start Math U See after Spring Break and I am hoping Andrew is as successful at that.

I am starting to sell Tastefully Simple. I went to a party a few weeks ago and fell in love with the products. Every time I mentioned to a friend that I was having a TS party they all said "make sure you invite me" or "send me the link I need to order some stuff" That got me to thinking. Why shouldn't I profit from this?

I love being a SAHM. But I never have felt like I have contributed enough. I know I contribute by parenting the kids, taking care of bills, cleaning house, supporting Scott, etc but I always feel like I should be contributing monetarily. Infact while I was typing this TS called and gave me my consultant number so my site will be up and running shortly.

My dad was here last weekend and we had a wonderful visit. Like he says great to see them come - great to see them leave.

Oh the big news it that we are planning a trip back to Disney World for December/Jan of this coming year!!!

I promise to pay more attention to my blog and update soon.

Time Marches On......

South moves north, North moves south
A star is born, a star burns out.
the only thing that stays the same is everything
changes, everything changes.

It has been a couple weeks since I have had time to blog. I miss it but time marches on.

We have finally found a medicine that works for Drew and it works wonderfully. We are not having the emotional frustrated outbursts. He is able to do his school, work stay on task etc. I know every kid is different and we have tried several medications before putting him on Abilify. If things continue at this rate we will be working with the docs to get an ADHD drug in addition to the Abilify. We met with the Elk Grove School District and listened to what they offered to do for Drew. We are declining their offer. We have met with South Sutter and they didn't even blink in offering Andrew services to help him succeed. He is in a homeschool co op and doing well. I love the Co op. It gives me some time to be with other moms and Drew a chance to be with kids and socialize. He won the Pine Wood Dreby last weekend. HE won the Tiger Division, had the fastest car of the day as well as breaking a 2 year track record!!!!! Pretty amazing.

Scott has to have surgery to repair his shoulder in a couple weeks. While I am not relishing another recovery period I want him well and not in pain. The past 18 months have been really hard on him physically as well as emotionally hard on all of us. I am blessed to have wonderful friends to step in and help.

Phil made the Dean's list. That was a shock but a pleasant shock. He is liking his classes, working hard and has a wonderful girlfriend.

See things are changing but staying the same. Time just marches on....

Psalm 100

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.
Serve the Lord with gladness;
come before his presence with singing.
Know ye that the Lord he is God;
it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving,
and into his courts with praise;
be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting;
and his truth endureth to all generations.

psalm 100

I have taken much grief over the years because I have always been a "jail house" singer. Can't find the key and behind a few bars. But I LOVE to sing. It brings me such joy. My mom had a beautiful voice and I always wanted to sing like her. But I couldn't when my kids were young I loved singing to them. It didn't matter what I sounded like. I was their mommy and it was special. Over time I was asked to stop singing by them and too them. It was the most horrid feeling in the world. It was not a gift that God chose to grant to me. He has given me a great many other gifts and for that I am grateful.

My husband takes every opportunity to tell me how horrible my singing is. I have cried myself to sleep wishing God had given me the voice of an angel. But it was not in His plan. He gave me the gift of theatre - and I love to act. I have participated many times in the skits the Quest team does at church. And the director loves my ability. God gave me the gift of humor. On many occasions friends have called and said I am sad can you cheer me up. I gladly do so. God has given me the gift of organization. And I at every opportunity step up and help organize events for church, school, community.

tonight was the annual meeting at church. People noticed I sang with enthusiasm. Shannon asked me again to join the choir. I told her Scott would not let me because I could not sing. He had explained my lack of talent to her before. Shannon and several members of the choir encouraged me to come and sing anyway. Against my better judgment I accepted. Julie told me if it was too bad they would adapt to my voice and no one would know the difference. What mattered was that I came and enjoyed doing something I have loved. I am scared, I am nervous, what if I am so bad they ask me to stop coming? Hopefully my husband will be supportive encourage me as I have encouraged him in all of his hopes dreams and goals.

What I lack in tune I certainly make up for in enthusiasm and isn't that what truly matters when praising God?

and it starts again!

I knew this day would come. I lived thru years of torment while Phil was in Scouts. It was a great experience for him and a wonderful way for Scott and Phil to bond when Scott came into our lives. I on the other hand could never set foot into a Scout meeting and live a very fulfilled life. Tonight, I entered round 2 of Scouts. I knew it would happen. and I would NEVER deny Andrew the opportunity that Scouting provides. I promise to smile thru all of the Pine Wood Derbys, I will duly hit all my friends up to buy popcorn from Andrew. In return I will have to buy what everyone else's munchkin sells with a happy heart and a lighter wallet. I Promise to look into finding the glue to put patches on the uniforms because I don't want tales of my past sewing misfortunes to haunt Andrew (or me ) for the rest of my natural life.

On the camping note however I will do so will with a smile on my face and my massuse's phone number on speed dial. I am currently checking into what latest camping gear offers. you have to understand in my first go around with scouts I had a 3 room tent, with an oversized queen blow up mattress that my sheets would fit. I had my pillows from home. The tent was big enough to hold 2 folding chairs with cup holders. I got rid of it years ago. My friend Joan and I would head for the nearest mall on the yearly canoe trips. I will go camping again but only with updated versions of my previous camping life. Scott and I had been married a month and almost divorced over an ill fated canoe trip. I swear the paddle could save itself as I was going under. it was every paddle for itself.

I will do it with a smile as I did the first time. I promise.

plagerism. Thanks Elaine

find something to believe in. Believe in a higher power, believe in karma, believe in your partner, believe in the regeneration of life, believe in mercy, or believe in anything else. But I do hope you find something to believe in. It'll provide you strength when you're not certain you have it. Second, a smile can go a long way.

This is from my friend Elaine's blog. this was advice she gave her son in her monthly letter to him. Elaine is an extremely eloquent writer and these are certainly words to live by. (for the record her older sister and my sister were best friends when they were young and I used to babysit them. ) Who knew that little moppet could teach me so much as an adult.

I love your blog Elaine and miss it when you don't post. You are a remarkable mom and human.

Oh here is the link to her blog.

Why?

Why is it the United States people are more concerned about who got screwed in the fight to host the Tonight Show than they are with their fellow humans who are fighting for their lives and existence in Haiti?

quiet

THe house is strangely quiet and feels very large and empty right now. It is amazing how the presence of one person home on break or their returning to college can change the feel of things so much.

off again

Well tomorrow we are headed back to Disney for another mini trip. Phil has never been to Disneyland so we thought we would head down for a couple days. Last trip for a while. Scott has a couple business trips coming up and Phil will be back in March with fraternity bros. Dad will be here in MArch as well. Nothing on the horizon for me until June when we head back to Kansas for our class reunion.

Another year coming to a close

I said i was going to attempt 170 post in the past year. I managed 86. not the number I had hoped for but it is an improvement from last year. Things were a little hectic this year with Scott's second surgery, then the car thing.

Looking back I am ready to not only close the door on this year but this decade. It plain and simply sucked donkey D****.. I am looking forward. Who knows what the future holds?

This coming year - I am making plans to go to Disney with my oldest friend from grade school. I have always wanted a girls weekend at Disney and I can't think of a better person to do it with. I have our class reunion this summer. Number 25. WOW!!!!! Phil turns 21 in May. that makes me feel just as old as going to my 25th reunion.

My goal for posts this year is 100. I think it might be more doable than 170. so I will set the goal low and feel great when I surpass it.

May your New Year be filled with all you wish for - health, happiness and love. What more is there?

new yarn

Christmas Morning in Pictures

Please see this blog

I rarely refer you to another blog but please read this and understand why we need healthcare reform

Connor and Helen Grow Up

Cathy

Polar Express

I feel like time is slipping away. It is the first time I have felt that with Phil. I am becoming aware that Christmas on Christmas may end in the next couple years and I am trying to savor every minute of this Christmas. Next year we have plans for a family vacation Christmas but I have a sneaking suspicion some one new may be joining us. (all I am going to say on that) I actually found myself crying yesterday to "slipping through my fingers" from Mama Mia.

So this Christmas I resolved to make it memorable. I was lucky enough to get tickets to the Polar Express thru one of the home school groups for the 4 of us.(there are 14000 tickets available every year and they sell out in less than 6 hours) We had lunch, toured the California State Railroad Museum, the took a train ride to the North Pole. It was a wonderful afternoon and evening.Let's get this party started

The engineer asking for directions.

My handsome boy

The chefs handing out cookies

Hot! Hot!Ooh, we got it!Hot! Hot!Hey, we got it!Hot! Hot!
Say, we got it!Hot chocolate!

Just love this picture

What can I see?

We still believe.

Listening for the magic

This is where the magic is.

Officially Happy

Phil arrived today. We all went to the airport to pick him up. As we were waiting for Phil to get his bag Drew looked at Scott and I and said "We are a family again."

What more is there to say?

just when I think he can't surprise me

Every once in a while Scott really surprises me. Today was one of those times.

I am not a big comedy fan. Can't stand most stand up comidians. There is one exception to the rule. BILL ENGVALL! That man can make me laugh so hard I fall out of bed.

He knew I would NEVER EVER spend the money to go see him so for Christmas he bought us floor seats for his show. Feb 27 can't get here fast enough.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME.

I LOVE MY HUSBAND

Everybody's fine

If you happen to go to see the movie "Everybody's Fine", keep your eye out for a train scene. Scott's aunt Jayne Houdyshell has a small part. She is currently starring on Broadway with John Stamos in Bye Bye Birdie.

Christmas dinner

Shock of all shocks - I have most of Christmas dinner planned and I have 25 days to go. It will be a departure from our normal calorie laden heavy cream and butter meal. I hear my arteries unclogging as I type. I have invited our priest and his wife, Father Ray and Deb to Christmas dinner. Their kids and grandson were with them for Thanksgiving so they were going to be alone for Christmas. Can't have that so I invited them to ours.

Scott wanted something lighter than our normal fair. He wanted an Italian flair. Italian flair for Standing Rib Roast? OK let me think about it....

Gotta love Facebook. I saw my friend Judi was online. I knew her from High School and she currently lives in Italy. I asked her what there traditional Christmas dinner was. She told me on Christmas Eve they would be having Lumache. UMMMM Don't think so. Snails have never passed these lips and never will. Next suggestion.

We came up with:

Polenta with marinated mozzarella
Prosciutto with Brie and Cantelope
Butternut Squash soup with sour cream
Standing Rib Roast
Zuchinni (something) it is browned in olive oil and salt and then sour cream in added at the last minute for a nice sauce
fresh green beans

Something decadent and chocolate for dessert. Maybe mini chocolate lava cakes. or Creme brule?

Now Drew won't touch any of it so for him....Is McDonalds open on Christmas day?

shopping

I have come to the conclusion this year if I can't get it online with Free shipping it isn't going under my tree. Amazon will be my best friend by the time I am done.

Be Thankful

Be thankful for those who you share the day with. They love you.

Say a prayer for those who are alone. Say a prayer for those in harms way.

Be safe.

I know my family is thankful I am not in charge of the gravy this year.

I am thankful for my family, my friends. I am thankful for the blessing that have been granted to us.

Every day

Every day God shows me why He chose the path for me that He did and for that I am grateful.

halloween at the orginal mouse house

She really does make wishes come true

Waiting for a parade

Drew and Max on Air Guitar

fighting Darth Maul

Meeting Drew Hero

Drew and Jack before the Halloween party

OK Update time

OK I have been MIA for a while. Just haven't had the motivation to say much. Shocking for those that know and impressive for those that don't.

We spent several days at Disneyland. Great time but we agree that Disney World is much much better. Even Scott who really has had no opinion on my Disney obsession felt that in the future a weekend trip for a fix to DL was fine but he would prefer to take the time and money and spend a week (10 days in my opnion) in Florida. We are kind of looking at that option for next Christmas. HAve to see how money pans out. Pictures from Disneyland soon.

We still love the church we found in July. They are the best most genuine people I have come across in a long long time. We have truly found a home.

I have been dyeing yarn like a crazy woman. I have 2 craft fairs coming up in the next couple weeks. Don't have nearly enough yarn but I am supplementing with some other stuff. Hoping to make several hundred dollars to pay for Christmas.

Home schooling is gettng better. We are finally getting a routine and Drew is working really hard. He struggles with Math but we are finding ways around that. We do lots of unit projects. Right now we have one on Dinosaurs, one on forest animals. We do English every day. We are also working on a health unit.

I have Christmas projects in various stages of completeness. ML's is done except for snipping threads and having it blocked. Sues needs to be sewn together, Jane's needs to be finished and blocked and I need to be knitting like a fiend on Phil's. Drew also wants a scarf done. ACK! Once the yarn is dyed I will be knitting like a fiend. Knitter's elbow here I come again.

Phil will be here December 16 for about a month. Can't wait to see my kid. Haven't seen him since June. That is a long long time.

OK you are now up to date. I promise to be better about this. I have realized I will not make my goal for posts for the year. But there is always a new year tomorrow.

Trees

Last Monday and Tuesday we had a very bad storm. 60 MPH winds 3 inches of rain. It doesn't rain much here so while 3 inches may sound like nothing to you in Sacramento that 3 inches put us at 442% of normal precip for the year. So it was significant. We lost a tree so it also did lots of neighbors but here are some pics from the storm damage.

Neighbors yard

Our lost tree - the roots

The tree from our yard

Our tree laying in the neighbors drive way.

balancing check book

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate keeping a check book balanced? to me it is the most annoying thing in the world and I can NEVER get it correct. I find when I try to keep it balanced I obsess over ever detail.

I know what the register says I should have and i know what the bank says i should have but the two are never in agreement. Then I spend HOURS trying to figure out what is wrong. To me that is a waste of time. I wish the bank would buy the excuse - I still have checks left so I should have money left but since NO ONE uses checks anymore that excuse/joke has gone by the way side.

As you know I never make New Years Resolutions because every day is the start of a new year. My daily resolve right now is to keep this stupid check book semi current.

But you know thinking about who really uses checks any way? I maybe write 3 checks a month so maybe I just won't worry about it and assume as long as my Visa Debit card goes thru all is good

A dream for a little guy.

If Drew looks happy it is because all he talked about was getting to meet Levi Leipheimer at the Gran Fondo. And Levi made my little guys day. Unfortunately Scott was not able to ride due to broken collar bone from being hit by a car last week. But he wore his number anyway.

I don't get it

I just don't get it. Joe Wilson, Serena Williams, Kayne West. What ever happened to common courtesy and civility? The past week has brought up a side of people that wouldn't have been tolerated 10 years ago.

There is a time and place and correct way for disagreeing or stating your opinion or protesting something that you feel is incorrect or an injustice or plain wrong. Calling the President a liar in the Congressional Chambers during a joint session of congress, threatening a line judge for what one feels is an incorrect call or stealing the spotlight from a young talent because you are an egotistical asshole are not the aforementioned correct time or places.

Joe Wilson says he won't apologize again for his actions - hey Joe, you have to apologize in the first place to say you won't apologize again. Saying the Republican leaders say I have to apologize so I guess I will say I am sorry does not an apology make.

Serena, you have yet to issue an apology. Threatening to ram a F####ng ball down someones throat isn't exactly a class act.

And Kayne - what you put on your blog - try again - and then leave it up. Take your medicne and negative comments like a man. Not some punk who is now running from the media. you wanted attenion well you got it. Now deal with it.

These are just three incidents in recent weeks that made me wonder when did it become OK to act like this and why do the rest of us allow it. All of these "celebrities" need to be held accountable for their actions.

Kids see Joe Wilson and think it is OK to disrespect those in authority. Young athletes see what Serena did and think it is OK to call out and threaten a referee because they don't like a call
against them.

Then there is Kayne. What he did was so wrong. He has been called a racist and that he hates white people. I don't think that is it. I could be wrong. I will give him the benefit of the doubt, for now. But to steal a young lady's thunder on what should have been one of the happiest moments in her young life is a totally classless act.

Society needs to tell these people that their actions are out of line and will not be tolerated. That as humans we each expect to be treated a certain way. Only when we stop allowing others to be treat people this way will there be true change in human kind.

no respect

I am a democrat. I will admit it. I am proud of it. I know there are many republicans out there and they are proud of it as well. Same for the libertarians, etc.

I have watched the health care debate over the past few weeks. Something has really bugged me.

I did not like the last president. But I never disrespected him or the office he achieved.

Why do so many people think it is OK to disrespect the current president just because they don't like him? OK, don't like the man that is fine. Disagree with his policies, fine by me. I have heard the president called a socialist, a racist, and worse just because a person doesn't like him or his policies. I know it happened with past presidents but never to the extent is has happened lately.

For me the final straw came tonight during the presidents speech to congress on health care. I wanna know something.

WHO THE HELL HAD THE AUDACITY TO CALL THE PRESIDENT A LIAR IN THE CONGRESSIONAL CHAMBER?

WHO EVER YOU ARE I HOPE YOUR MOTHER IS ASHAMED OF HOW SHE BROUGHT YOU UP. Disagree all you want but show the man and the office the respect they are due. Maybe someday you will be in position to be the person with the most power but I doubt it. Because I know no one who can respect someone who has no respect for themselves and that is what the person who called the president a liar is - someone who truly has no respect for themselves.