New Mexico Birthday parties

Drew has been invited to 2 birhtday parties this weekend. One for a kid whose mom works with Scott. the other for a little boy who is in Drew's play group.

Today was the party for J - The one whose mom works with Scott. The little boy was turing 4. It was held at a local pizza place - similar to Chuck E Cheese. Scott had told me that parties for mexican families were much different than what I would be used to. He wasn't kidding!!!!
The table was set up for 15 kids plus 10 adults. Then the mom had gone to 4 booths and put reserved signs on them for adults. Familie and friends started to arrive. Oh my goodness. There were grand parents, aunt, uncles, cousins, neices, nephews, second cousins twice removed. You name it they were there. I think there were only 3 kids who were not related to J. Every person was carrying a gift bag for J. I have seen fewer presents at weddings. Paris hilton would be jealous. There were not enough chair/booths for all the people. The kids were given tokens and off they went. Then the pizza's started to arrive. I lost count at 8. But I know there were more. I at first thought it was only J's party that was like this then I looked around the restaurant. There 6-8 other parties going on and they are all the same. Moutains of pizza and cake and more gifts than any child could think of on Christmas morning let alone a birthday party.

scott said most birthday's for local families are like this. Holidays and Birthdays are big events. When a girl turns 15 there is a special party (like a Bat Mitzvah). Families plan for this party and it is carried out similar to a wedding.

Extended Family is big down here. almost like mini villiages raising children. It was interesting to watch. scott says this was small compared to some he has attended when he was here before. I can't imagine hosting a party like that - i finally have a house big enough for it but the expense and the mess just aren't worth it. While I won't be hosting a party for 40+ forDrew's 6th birthday he knows he is loved in New Mexico or Kansas or where ever his family may be.

I think it is happening

UHOH I think it is happening - against my best efforts. In the last week I have noticed when I drive I actually know where I am going. I don't have to get out my map. If someone gives me cross streets I am pretty confident I can get there.I just always remember the mountains are to the East. Iknow that the city was built on a grid and all major instersections are one mile apart. We are having dinner with Tom, Faith and Clara tonight and when Faith told me where the pizza place was I knew exactly where it was. (applause please)

Last night there was a grass fire behind the volcanos by where we live. I looked at Scott and said " that is the other side of the Mesa - so we are fine." He kind of smirked.

I have learned this is the land of manana(tomorrow) which for those who are transplants(most of the caucasian population) it is irritating. Expecting a repair man then maybeyou will see them between 8-4 next thursday but most definelty by the following friday unless it is deemed a fishing day then who knows when you will see them.

Want to see balloons in the AM? Must be under 70 degrees or it is too hot and they can't go up. Looking for a missing body - check the Rio Grande River. Want good Pizza - Dion's or Marios. good mexican? Hot Talmales in Rio Ranco. Chinese/Thai/vietnemse? Golden Banana has great Pad Thai. Best cinnamon rolls and home made tortillas? Definetly the Frontier on Route 66 across from the University. Have Blue Cross Insurance - then you can't use Presbiterian hospital. Couldn't come to a contract agreement. The just ousted the Mayor of Rio Rancho for misapporpriation of funds. The Governer has been gone 3 out of 4 days campaining for president.

Boy, you would think I was becoming at home in albuquerque. Who knew?
But I will always miss Kansas

Drew's thoughts on school

Drew has been in Pre K for a week now. He goes from 8:30-3:30 everyday. He has some very serious thoughts on going to school...

I picked him up from his first day and was chit chatting away as I was driving home. I was asking all the typical mommy questions. Finally he says "mommy will you please be quiet I need to rest. Going to school is hard work" He promptly fell asleep for the last 10 minutes of the ride home and slept for 45 minutes once we got to the house.

Last Friday was a rough day for him. he thought this school was going to be like the Art center and be more like Montesorri type class. It is far from that. He has lesson time, play time, nap time. It is very sturctured. He had a few melt down episodes during the day that caused him to lose his movie privledges for the evening when I heard about them. He also lost going to his fave pizza place to celebrate the first week of school.

Since then he has been fine - now that he understands what is expected of him.
So today I pick him up and we are driving home. He asks to go to McDonalds as a treat for being good at school today. I said no but if he was good tomorrow we would go to Dion's for pizza as a reward for a good week and no bad reports. He asked me if he had to go to school again tomorrow and I said "yes you do". He looked at me and in the most increduolus voice asked "when will this end?"

Not for a long time my little prince, not for a long long time.

Faith Trust and Pixie dust
C

New Era

Well Drew starts school today. Actually it is pre - k but it is all day. He should be in kindergarten but emotionally he is not ready. His teachers in Lawrence last year advised one more year of Preschool to get him ready.

We have a concern tho - not about the school. We like the school. But when we went for meet the teacher the other night Drew had a major allergic reaction to something in the room. We think it was the hay from the bunny cages. His eyes swelled and his nose started running something horrid. The only other time I saw him have an allergic reaction like this was when he was helping Carolyn feed the horses in the barn.

The doc added a second allergy medicine to see if that helped. I will be warning the teachers to call me if there is a problem.

Drew is so excited about school that I don't want there to be a problem for his sake. He packed his lunch lsat night but told me to hold off on the sandwich until this AM. Was worried it would be "icky" if I made it too soon.

This is an emotional day for Scott. I am a little sad but I am also ready to go back to school myself. As long as Drew doesn't have any major reactions to the bunny hay.

My sister

Right after Phil's wreck I was dealing with the insurance garbage that has to be dealt with. I made the mistake of commenting to my sister that the insurance people were driving me crazy. She asked me why I wasn't making Phil deal with it. I tried to explain that it was my car and that I was the only one who could take care of it. She then started accusing me of always stealing Phil's life lessons. She said he was 18 and needed to deal with things himself. I said yes he is 18 but like all of us he still needs mom and dad. She told me I had a mental problem because I would not let go of Phil. She started screeeching at me about how I sucked as a parent. She then said "no you just suck in general". I have not talked to her since.

She and her husband CHOSE not to have kids. I think that if you make that decision that is fine but that is also the day you CHOOSE to not give advice/critisim to those of us that do have kids. Until you walk a few thousand miles in the shoes of a parent you have nothing to say on that subject.

This is my SISTER who said these things to me. Would you say something like that to a stranger? Why in the world would you say something like that to a family member? While I know what she said is in no way true (I have raised one awesome son and have another in the wings) it totally pissed me off.

She has not apologized (she thinks she is right) so she won't. She has done things like this before and every time I forgive her. But this time it is different. She critizied something that I take very seriously - parenting. I decided that like a dog I can only be kicked so many times. And I am done. She did send me a message via Myspace last night (like there was nothing wrong and her in her mind I am sure there isn't) to update my page - but she needed my password. Somehow i don't think she has re-earned my trust to give this up to her. It will take a long time to earn my trust or my respect again.

Faith Trust Pixie dust
C

Political correctness

Political correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

another day.

Phil left today. Off to Kansas to go to school. He will do well. I hope. He left me a thank you note that I found when I was cleaning his room. It was nice. Made me cry. He is to come for Thanksgiving.

Now time to get Drew thru school. He starts PRE K in 2 weeks. I go back to school August 20. Drew is looking forward to school. He will be going all day. I am not sure what I am going to do with myself. STudy a lot. But I realized that for 2 days Drew will be inschool and I won't be. I have no idea what I will do. I have no friends so I will be alone for all day. The house is staying pretty clean and ML will have just left so it will be clean. I guess I will stay home, knit, watch TV and just be alone with me for a change. In Kansas I craved alone time but here it feels weird. I guess because in Kansas I always had something to do or soem place to be that alone time was scarse. Here I have so much alone time I get sick of it.

Off to order dinner for Scott and Drew. I don't feel well so I am gonig to bed when Scott gets home.

Faith trust pixie dust
C

Pictures of the car and other stuff.

Here are pics from the wreck. Phil is lucky to be walking. We called the doc back in Lawrence last night. Phil is developing some unusual indentations in his leg. She had us give him a massive dose of asprin last night and if it is not better we are to take him to the ER this AM. She is wondering if a blood clot is developing.

We went on one last back to school shopping trip yesterday before all this medical stuff happened. His suit got trashed in the wreck so he needed a new one for the fraternity. He also needed jeans, shirts and a new suitcase (thanks TSA). I told him this was the last mother/son shopping trip of his school career. It is time for the tradition to be passed on to Drew, who starts kindergarten next year.

I have gotten enrolled at UNM. I have opted to take the needed/dreaded math classes at the local community college right down the street. cheaper and should not be as intense. I am not a big fan of UNM campus but at least I will be able to complete my degree and get my Master's in the next 4 years.

I have finally found a way to get rid of GWB. My dad sent me this and maybe if we all do it our outlook will be better.

. Open a new folder on your computer.

2. Name it "George W Bush"

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of"George W. Bush?"

6. Firmly Click "Yes."

7. Feel better!

PS: Tomorrow we'll do Dick Cheney...

Faith,trust Pixie dust

C

Lucky to be alive

Phil was in a massive car wreck last week. Someone broadsided him while Phil was going thru an intersection. I have never felt so helpless. I was in NM and he was hurt and scared in Topeka. Luckily plenty of friends and family came to his aide. The car is totalled and he has some really deep muscle damage to his calf. I need to get him back to a doc for a follow up but he being 18 knows best. He doesn't need a doc according to him. HUMPH. They allowed him to travel for his trip here the day after the accident. So at least I can see he is"OK". he is walking and talking but the accident really scared him (and me)

we are settling in. It is still really strange here. I have been accepted to UNM so I will still go back to college afterall this fall. I think I am going to do Audiology or speech pathology. UNM doesn't have social work and this really seems to be itneresting. I am going to UNM today to take some paperwork and try and meet with an advisor. Hopefully I cna get enrolled today so i can get my books ordered and get my financial aid straitened away. I have to see what classes I ahve credit for so I can figure out what I still need to take. hopefully phil wont' give me much trouble when I wake him up shortly. But that seems to be his mantra for this visit. If mom isn't doing for me it isn't worth my time and give her crap until she does.
Iwon't even go into the coffee and cupcake incident. I just hope he treats his girlfriends better than he does his mom.

Happy Independence Day

It is July 4th. Back home we would be spending the evening at Janines house with our friends. But this year it is just the 3 of us. Seems very strange not to have anyplans. I will probably go grab a couple steaks or something and throw them on the grill. We have a great view of the city so we will probably just sit outside and watch the show from the back yard. Tomorrow Drew will get to see his friend Clara and on Friday Phil comes. Phil has been experiencing his own independence. He is living with his aunt and her family. He says he is having a good time but Lisa says he is having adjustment problems. I think it will be better when he gets into his routine for school but now all he tells people is "this sucks"

He misses his friends in Lawrence but he kind of feels like they are treating him out of site out of mind. He has discovered he was usually the one who organized events and called everyone on the weekends and now that he is gone if somethign is organized he doesn't get called.

Phil and I are having the most adjustment problems. Scott seems to have found a rythmn at work and Drew is just going with the flow.

The other day after a particularly bad experience at the MVD(DMV to us normal people) I got lost and was crying on the phone to a friend that I wanted to go home (back to Lawrnece). from teh back seat I hear "we live in albuquerque now mom. Deal with it" Out of the mouth of babes? I am dealing with it. Ah to be five again and have everything right with the world as long as your parents and your monkey are around.

Faith Trust and Pixie Dust
C

Not in Kansas anymore

Well things got a little crazy. Phil graduated May 25. We got home from his party and were resting before the next party. Scott came out of his office and told me we had to be in Albuquerque by June 25. EXACTLY one month. I wanted to know who was smoking something. Well I did it. With help from friends on both ends we got here. Scott started at the new office a couple days ago. We are in the new house praying the old one sells FAST. It was hard to leave Phil behind. I don't think I have cried that hard in a long, long time. He is coming next week for a 3 week stay. I can't wait. He is having a hard time adjusting to us being gone as well. I think he will do better once school starts and he can get into a routine.

more later
Faith trust and pixie dust
C

RIP Steven

I was laying in bed a little while ago feeling sorry for my self. (See tomorrows post for the big news). Scott and I are under a ton of stress right now. I made sure his mom had a wonderful Mother's day. We took her to brunch. I bought her a rose bush and cards from all of us. The only one who did anything for mother's day for me was aaron. I don't feel sorry for my self any more.

At the beginning of the school year a good friends told us he had melenoma and was undergoing treatment. In October, he told us it had metasized to his spine and liver. He was undergoing aggressive treatment. He was hopeful. In December, he told us the treatment wasn't working so they were changing courses. In February, he told us it had spread to his brain and liver. I hadn't seen him since.

Carolyn never calls me on the weekends. When the phone rang tonight and I saw it was her I thought it strange. She told me Steven had died today. Suddenly my day didn't seem so horrible. I thought about AnneMarie, Shawn and Karel. I prayed for them. I cried for them.

Steven was one of the gentlest people I knew. He was always quick with a warm smile and a friendly hello. He could talk about the weather or space aeronautics. He never had a mean word to say about anyone or anything. Even when his diagnosis was getting worse he always remained positive. Never letting his friends know how bad it really was getting. Steven will be missed. His passing has left a HUGE hole in the universe.

Rest in Peace Steven. May you hurt no more. The world was a brighter place because you were in it.

craziness and WOWs

It has been insane this week. We found out Wed. that we are being transferred to Albuqurque NM. Scott got his undergrad there and we both love it there so that is a good thing. The bad thing? Leaving our freinds, family, church, EVERYTHING we have known for 10 years behind. I was explaining to Drew he would make new friends - and at 4 he knew it "wouldn't be the same" My head is spinning. A relator is coming today. We have movers coming monday to give an estimate. I think we are looking at a 3 month time frame. IF we sell the house sooner. If not Scott will go ahead and Drew and I will stay until the house sells. I have applied to UNM to continue school. I think I have found a school for Drew. We gave Phil the option of coming. WE told him we would figure out how to pay out of state tuition for a year if he wanted to come. He said no. He felt God had a plan for him here. He has his Frat house, school, friends etc. That is hardest part of this. He chose to stay close to home and now his family is moving. I think he has been too busy with the last weeks of school and the musical to relaize what is happening.

Yes, 2 weeks and Phil will graduate. This weekend is the school musical. Phil plays Horton the Elephant in Seussical. All I can say is WOWOWOWOWOW I am one proud mom. He was amazing last night. He brought the house down. I was "busting" my buttons. He had 3 solo songs and I always knew he could sing but this was amazing. Hard to believe this is my little guy.

Faith trust and pixie dust
C

Looks like we made it.....

Today is Phil's 18th birthday. What an amazing ride we have had. I never dreamed that we would be where we are.

Phil was born by c-section after way too many hours of hard labor. He was amazing - but what new baby isn't. I left his biological dad when Phil was not quite 2. We moved to florida where my parents were living. After several false starts I got my act together and went to school and got a degree as a respiratory therapist. Once we moved back to the midwest our lives had some very big highs and soem very low lows. Highlights that I feel are important and some I know he would feel are important.

I met Scott (phil was 7), my mom got sick, my ex got remarried to a woman who hated Phil, I married Scott, Scott adopted Phil(Phil was 10), my grandfather died (Phil's best friend Phil was 12)) Phil started Seabury, we adopted Drew (Phil was 13),Phil is diagnosed with a heart condition, my mom got a lung transplant(Phil was 14), my mom died(Phil was 15), Phil got a car, Phil went to South Korea, Phil had his first serious girlfriend (Phil was 16) my dad got remarried(Phil was 17), Phil got a tattoo, First girlfriend broke up with Phil, Phil decides to go to Washburn, Phil joins a Frat, Phil turns 18. That brings us to today.

thru it all I have watched my little boy grow in to an amazing young man. He is very concious of others and is wise beyond his years. He can fight to save a homeless shelter one minute and then be ready to play football. he can build a tent and watch Bambi with him and then organize a group activity for 10 of his friends on a moments notice. He has a deep faith and belief in God that seems rare in a person his age. He has gotten me thru some very low moments because of his un wavering faith.

there was a song Shania Twain sang - "You're still the one." Phil was about 9 when it came out. We were going thru a rough time wiht my ex and his wife who was threatening to take Phil from us. When it would come on the radio Phil would sing this to me but he changed the words

Looks like we made it Look how far we've come my mommy We mighta took the long way We know we'll get there someday. Witch said, "I bet they'll never make it" But just look at us holding on, We're still together, still going strong. We'll beat the odds together I'm glad we didn't listen Look at what we would be missin' .

I wouldn't have missed a minute of this ride with my son. It has beeen amazing. I can't wait to see what Phil does in the next stage of his life. I will be watching with great amazement at what he accomplishes.

Yes Phil it does look like we made it but always remember
I'll love you forever
I'll Like you for always
As long as I am living
(No matter how fuzzy your face)
My baby you'll be.

May you Always have
Faith, Trust and Pixie Dust
Love
Mom

Dont' know how...

I don't know how not to give. It is my greatest character flaw. I don't know how to say no. It is a problem. I love to make others happy. It makes me happy - or does it?

Nothing

I know some people try to post and make some sort of profound statement. Not me. I prefer to post about nothing. Just daily life. Kind of like Seinfeld. His was a show about nothing. Mine is a blog about nothing. Actually when I blog I find myself greatful for all of God's gifts. I realize how fragile life is when I sit and type. I know I will never solve the world's problems while I blog. But I don't want to. I want to tell stories about my life as a wife, mother, student, Christian, and friend. I know only of one person who reads my blog. That is OK (hi Anna) I know of people who write blogs who have many followers. They are the ones who seem to think they can solve the worlds problems. The only problem I want solved right now is why my cable on demand channels don't work.

Phil has been gone all weekend. He has been on his Sr. Trip to Orlando. I have heard from him several times and he seems to be having a great time. He is due home this afternoon.

Saturday we went to KC to do some shopping. I got 2 outfits for graduation, Scott got some new shirts. Drew was introduced to the world of Polo and thinks all his shirts need horses on them now. (drat that sale) He also got new shoes.

There is something amazing about my youngest son. At almost 5 he can remember details about past events that no one would think he would remember. Like when we were at Oak Park Mall. He had not been there since he was abou 2 1/2 or so. He looked at Scott and told him that they needed to find the store when he could make a bear. He was referring to Build a Bear. He had built a bear there when he was younger and we had not been back to the store since. He was even able to lead us to the store. This is not an isolated occurnace. It happens on a regular basis. He can also see things that a normal person can't see. We have learned that if he says he sees a bus, even if we can't see it, it is there and will come into view shortly. At times I wonder if he as ESP or some sort of psyhic gift. I know kids are more intune with those things than adults. Example. 2 years ago he walked into my bedroom and told me that PAPA (my dad) was going to do something that day. Actually what he said was "papa is going to be happy today" Strange comment - little did I know he was proposing to his girlfriend that morning. All of these things makes me wonder what goes on in his wonderful imaginative head.

faith, trust and pixie dust
C

I was afraid this would happen

I have 3 boys I don't talk about often. We have been parents to Korean Exchnage Students for the past 4 years. Yoo SUng is now a sophomore at Penn State, Sung is a Freshman at Indiana. Currently we have Aaron(Hae) with us. He will graduate this spring from Seabury with Phil and plans on going to Creighton next fall. This has been the most wonderful expreience for us. We have a plan in the year 2027 that no matter where everyone is in their lives they will all come to my house for that Christmas. They will bring their wives and children and we will have a huge Christmas Celebration.

The Koreans in general are a very proud and gentle population. Many have taken the attack as a personal afront to Korea and its citizens. They are in shock that one of their own could do something like this. They are greiving just as we as Americans are grieving.

Aaron came home yesterday worried that I would be mad at him because it was a Korean who did this. I assured him that I would never hold him responsible for the actions of others. He is also scared he will not be able to get his Visa renewed to come back and study next year.

Unfortunately I am hearing reports from my "sons" of anti Korean feelings towards them. Yoo Sung has said that his American friends have stopped talking to him and those who do not know him or the other Koreans at Penn State are getting many stares. It reminds me of the days immediately following September 11. What happened on that day was not the fault of the Musulim population in this country yet they were blamed for it. The same thing is happening again. Yoo Sung told me he just wants to go home so people will stop staring at him.

When will we learn that we shouldn't hold a population responsible for the acts of one?

I am about to send my almost 18 year old out into the "big bad world" in a few months. I finally start getting used to the idea of not knowing where he is 24/7, that he won't be calling everyday, that he will be doing is own thing, on his own and then.....yesterday happens. I was never scared to go to school. My parents were never afraid to send me to school. They never had to wonder if some one was going to snap and cause a massacre like the one at Virginia Tech. I never had to fear walking across campus or worrying if someone was going to come into my french class and try to blow us all away. That is what I wanted for my son.

I wanted a college career for him of friends, girlfriends, breakups, classes he liked, teachers he didn't, discovery of who he really is, what he really wants to do, late night pizza runs, the occasional underage beer (we all know it happens). College is to be the beginning of the loss of the age of innocence to 18 year olds. But unfortunately yesterday showed that their innocence is lost way too soon. I know he will exprience those things but in a different way.

I don't want to let him go in to that big bad world. I want to lock him in a room and teach him how to be a doctor from the safety of that room. But I know he has to expreience a college career of friends, girlfriends, breakups, classes he likes, teachers he doesn't, discovering who he really is, what he really wants to do, late night pizza runs, the occasional underage beer. I want to hold on a little longer, keep him safe for a split second more. But I know this is not to be. It makes me sad that I can't keep him safe anymore and that he will not know a college career like we did.

My heart goes out to all at Virginia Tech. May God comfort you and shine his Grace upon you in your time of need.

Have Faith, Trust and a Big dose of Pixie dust as we all hold our kids closer today.
C

Disney Again

Yes we are going again. This time it will be Scott, me, Drew, and Scott's mom ML. We are going October 21-28. I have spent a lot of time planning our ADR's (Advanced Dining Reservations) and our days in the park. I have many friends and family who ca't quite understand why I plan so much before we go. They think it is vacation and I should go with the flow. Going with the flow at Disney can be a bad thing. When you are dealing with that many people in a relatively small space it is best to plan. And plan well.

I follow one of the touring plans online. Last year when we went Scott was amazed that in less than 90 minutes we had done 8 rides at MK and had fast passes for 2 others where the stand by wait was 2 hours. We had done the Tea Cups, Small World, Dumbo, Philharmonic, Snow White, Winnie the Pooh, and Peter pan. Those are all in Fantasy Land and fill up fast with little kids. By the time we got off of Peter Pan the standby line was 45 minutes. No Thanks. We then headed to Splash Mountain but first grabbed FP's for ThunderMountain. Scott was SHocked that we were able to ride both in 30 mintues.

As for meals since the Dining Plan it is a must to get ADR's for the places you definelty want to eat. Most are booked 180 days in advance. I can't even book my reservations until April 24th but I have my grid with parks/parades/ and where we want to eat cetain meals. Sit down meals I never leave to chance but I don't worry to much about counter service meals. So see I can be spontaneous. But I do research which ones are better than others.

As for those who comment "you are going to Disney AGAIN?" "Yes we are going again - don't you go to the beach/mountains every summer/winter?" Same difference. It is our vacation and we choose to go visit a Mouse/Duck/Dog/power angers/Beast/Princess/Monsters/THe Incredibles f(the list goes on)or 7 days as opposed to watching the same waves or skiing the same mountain. We do take other vacations - last year we went to Colorado and this year we are headed to NM and also Chicago.

My MIL has never been to WDW and I hope to show her a magical vacation. She has decided going on vacation with me is better than hiriing a tour guide. She is just sitting back and letting me go. 190 days and counting.

Trust and Pixie Dust
Cathy

Sister

I left my ex husband many many years ago. For a long time things were good between us and we were friends. At one point we talked about getting back together. In fact we were such good friends when Phil was 5 we went on vacation - the 3 of us for a week. Then out of the blue he remarried. His new wife wanted no reminders of his past - Phil. She made his life a living hell. After a while of this torment Phil asked Scott to adopt him. Surprisingly Mike agreed. Found out years later it was because he was wanting to buy a new business and his DTI was off due to the child support he was paying. That is another thread.

Mike has a sister who was closer to me than my own sister. We could get into trouble so fast and have so much fun. I always laughed when I was around Lisa. We were inseperable before and after my divorce. Then when Mike remarried Lisa felt that she had to go with family loyalty and we quit speaking. I understood but boy did I miss her. Things were also difficult between my former in laws and me.

Last year Lisa's youngest child was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Last month they were told he had Type 1 and Type 2. That is very rare. Less than one half of one percent of adults with diabetes have both and that number is even smaller in children. It has been a long year for them. T has been in the hospital 11 times in the past year, the longest stay was over 2 weeks. We almost lost him twice. I have reached out to Peg (former MIL) She and I have become friends again. T went back in the hosptial a couple days ago. I took Phil over yesterday. Before we left for the hosptial I made copies of all the DVD's of Phils performances that I had. I gave them to Peg and she cried. And I cried and Lisa cried. It was like a flood gate of emotion. A bridge had been built. I have been calling Lisa and Peg for the last few months. I just wanted to reach out to them. I know how difficult times like this can be. It is scary and I have been there with my son and my mom.

Yesterday while we were standing around T's hospital bed we started reminicening about my years in the family. I had forgotten so much. Peg, Lisa and I laughed so hard. I was cryingfrom laughter about some of the stories from my past. It felt good. Peg knows about the troubles with my dad and she has listened to me. When my mom died she was at the funeral and held me while I cried. The walls are coming down and we are friends again. Lisa and I want to go to lunch like we used to. I am hoping soon that can happen. We just have to wait till summer someone can stay with T.

My ex still does not speak to me and don't expect that to change. For that I am regretful. But at least I have my sister back.